I was having a conversation with a neighbour recently about life, struggles, pain and how we're coping. I was told that it was easier for me because "you're small and skinny...you don't hurt like I do...things are different for you". Hearing that not only hurt my feelings but it pissed me off too. It's hard enough to hear "you don't look like you're hurting" from those who don't know what it's like to be me but to hear it from someone living life just like me, hearing that hurt worse. During the conversation this person also told me "it's easier for you".
Let me clarify a few things here and now...NO! it's not easier for me! Just because I'm small and skinny now doesn't mean I still don't hurt. I hurt every day. Things may be different for me now, but it wasn't always this way. I still struggle some days to like who I am and there are still days when I am under my rock because of my pain. I still have down days too...and just like you...I am human too and it has taken me several years to get to where I am now.
My road hasn't been an easy one and I have worked hard to understand my pain and how it affects my life. Everyday I make a promise to myself that I will not let my pain control everything there is in my life. I try to take each day as a new chance to try, and to make better choices. Each day is an opportunity to challenge my abilities and to learn.
Our struggles are our own and we will each experience our pain differently. Please do not compare yourself, your pain, nor your progress to anyone else. We are all at different stages of our journey, some further ahead than others, and our experiences like our pain, will be different. It is important to respect our differences and support our similarities.
Please...the next time you're having a conversation with someone living a pained life just like you... remember to respect their journey as you would want yours respected. Our journies are as individual as we are and we need to support and encourage one another not tear each other down.
take good care of you ok?