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Chronic Pain & Life

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I borrowed trouble before I had trouble....

9/13/2016

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As you know I've been absent for a bit and I've been focusing on me and my needs. I've been struggling with my thoughts on my upcoming surgery and you know what I realized? My thoughts had me worrying about things that have not happened, that may not even happen...my thoughts have been rampant and I've borrowed trouble before I had trouble.

Yes it's natural to be worried about a surgery, how things will go, how you will heal afterwards, to be worried about the pain...it's all normal! but my thoughts had consumed me. I am scared, which is natural, but I can't control what's happening. I have to trust in the surgeon that he will take care of it. 

I will admit I even had the "why me" thoughts. I wasn't wishing someone else would experience this but I was wondering...why did I have to. What did I do to deserve this? But you know what? I didn't do anything...not one thing wrong did I do. Stop that train wreck thought quickly!
Yes the doctor told me some things may happen...but he also said they may not. I noticed that my thoughts had me planning on how I would hide the damage. What damage? the surgery hasn't even happened yet and I was already planning...for what? Just wait and see and then deal with it right? Yeah I had to remind myself too.

I had a few more thoughts...but I think you get the idea....and ​I can admit it...I borrowed trouble before I had trouble...and it's not the first time I've done it either...nope! I'm really good at this one. But one thing I have to give myself credit for? I'm better at noticing when my thoughts go like this and I'm better at being able to stop myself, to change the tape that plays in my head, to occupy my minds energies on more positive and less destructive things (like hurting myself physically)...I'm learning how to change this for me moving forward.

Yeah! Some days...​I still get stuck, my donkey still goes in the ditch and some days? I go with it. But I don't live in the ditch anymore...I'm learning how to recognize my thoughts, to replace them with things that are more healing and healthy for me, and I'm not beating myself up anymore for having these thoughts.

Have you ever borrowed trouble before you had trouble? How do you talk to yourself when feeling this way? What do you do for you to help you through it? 

Life comes with enough trouble of it's own...we don't need to borrow any. Please...be mindful of your thoughts and how you talk to you. YOUR words have power! so use them to help you instead of burying you.

Please? 
take good care of you
​Tammy  
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    Tammy...

    is living life with chronic pain...doing the best I can with everyday. 

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