Yesterday I got to see a friend I haven't seen in a long time. This woman has been a part of my life for over twenty years now (since our college days) and no matter what I did, she never left..though we didn't see each other like we used to after I got hurt, (and that was my fault) but yesterday...I got to apologize.
I realized during my healing that not only was I angry about my pain, I was jealous too. She could do what I couldn't anymore. She had the job I used to do, she was a reminder of who I wasn't anymore and would never be again...I couldn't handle that so I pushed her away.
But seeing her yesterday was the balm I have been needing. You don't realize how much you miss someone till you see them again and I was reminded yesterday in a big way. I was reminded how important she had been in my life...how much I had missed her...I remembered and it felt good.
I learned the meaning of true friendship yesterday. I thought I already knew it but I learned it again. Life does keep giving us lessons until we learn them...and we start living them. The true friends of our lives are always there and they are a life blessing indeed.
I've made a few other apologies during my healing and acknowledging why I did what I did has brought me closer to some of the people I once tried to push away. It's funny how that happens. Friendships can become stronger, and understanding can be had...and a friendship can survive and even grow again. Just like us. So while you make your apologies...don't forget yourself okay? Yes you made mistakes, yes you may have even hurt some people...own up to that and apologize even to yourself...and let the healing begin.
Are you carrying feelings of anger, jealousy, or resentment? Do you need to apologize too? Will you allow yourself to heal? I hope you will.
take good care of you and each other please