When I was first injured, I couldn't comprehend a life with pain. I didn't want a life like that. I would beg and plead with my family doctor to give me anything that would stop the pain. I didn't care what she gave me...I just wanted the pain to stop. Her response was to tell me that there was nothing wrong with me but she also gave me a script...many of them.
I tried many different pills in the hopes of being pain free. What a ride that was! and not a good one. But with every pill I tried I had problems...and it only sent me back looking for more. There had to be something I could take that would make me normal again...there had to be something I could take that could make my life worth living again. There had to be!
But you know what? There wasn't. Some of the pills did help my pain, but they destroyed my body...and my thoughts. There were times when I could be sitting at a street light with my daughter in the car and I would see a transport truck coming down the road. All of a sudden and without warning the thought..."Gee, I wonder if it would hurt if I pulled out in front of that truck" would come crashing through my head. Luckily I was able to see those thoughts for what they were and I never acted on them...but they were strong...and they weren't the only thoughts I had.
I tried many different pills in the hopes of being pain free. What a ride that was! and not a good one. But with every pill I tried I had problems...and it only sent me back looking for more. There had to be something I could take that would make me normal again...there had to be something I could take that could make my life worth living again. There had to be!
But you know what? There wasn't. Some of the pills did help my pain, but they destroyed my body...and my thoughts. There were times when I could be sitting at a street light with my daughter in the car and I would see a transport truck coming down the road. All of a sudden and without warning the thought..."Gee, I wonder if it would hurt if I pulled out in front of that truck" would come crashing through my head. Luckily I was able to see those thoughts for what they were and I never acted on them...but they were strong...and they weren't the only thoughts I had.
I can admit that I was a walking pharmacy...everywhere I went my pills came with me. I took them when I needed them, and sometimes more often than I safely should have and in amounts higher than what was suggested or prescribed...I just wanted the pain to stop. Pills controlled my life and they did it for one reason...I wanted and needed the pain to stop and I didn't care what I took.
Like many others, I had become "programmed" into thinking a pill was a quick fix solution to my pain. That I could find something that would take all my pain away and I wouldn't have to do anything but swallow. I was wrong! very wrong! and I almost lost my life for it.
It took me many years, many pills, and too many side effects later...to learn the truth. No pill could ever, would ever, give me back who I was. Nothing could...there just wasn't a pill. I was never going to be pain free and no amount of medications would change that fact. Talk about a bitter pill eh? yeah that one was hard to swallow.
So if a pill wasn't going to work...what was? What could I do to take my pain away? Truth is? I couldn't... my pain...my body...it's my life now. I had to learn to accept that and I had to learn how to manage that without depending on a pill. I had things to learn...things to change...things to do for me...and I had to do them. I had to do the work and not expect a pill to fix my life.
Now, I may not be pain free...but I do manage my pain better. I have tried many different treatments and have found the things that help to minimize my pain so I can be as active as I'm able. I have spent many a day and many a tear talking through my pain...learning how to recognize and change my thoughts. I've learned a level of acceptance with myself and my life and I know too...that I still have one to live. It may be a hurting life...but it's mine. I've changed in many ways and my pain is a part of who I am and I accept that...but...I won't stop looking for ways to help me through...I have work to do.
Now I'm not sharing this as a way of telling you stop taking your medications okay? I'm sharing this as a way of asking you to give thought to why you're taking them. Are you hoping it'll fix you? Are you thinking you can just swallow and not do any of the work? What is your motivation for taking your medications?
There are some medications that are life sustaining and needed...but are all of the medications you're taking helping you? Are they doing what they should for you? Are you living a better life because of the pills you take? What else could you try to help minimize your pain? Personal questions I know but only you know the answers and I hope you'll be honest with yourself.
I will say this though...the fix to your pain is not in a pill bottle...it's in you! it's in the things you do for you when you're hurting...it's in the thoughts you keep about yourself and your life...it's what you do about what you got now moving forward. It's how you live your life for you and not your pain.
Just my opinion
Like many others, I had become "programmed" into thinking a pill was a quick fix solution to my pain. That I could find something that would take all my pain away and I wouldn't have to do anything but swallow. I was wrong! very wrong! and I almost lost my life for it.
It took me many years, many pills, and too many side effects later...to learn the truth. No pill could ever, would ever, give me back who I was. Nothing could...there just wasn't a pill. I was never going to be pain free and no amount of medications would change that fact. Talk about a bitter pill eh? yeah that one was hard to swallow.
So if a pill wasn't going to work...what was? What could I do to take my pain away? Truth is? I couldn't... my pain...my body...it's my life now. I had to learn to accept that and I had to learn how to manage that without depending on a pill. I had things to learn...things to change...things to do for me...and I had to do them. I had to do the work and not expect a pill to fix my life.
Now, I may not be pain free...but I do manage my pain better. I have tried many different treatments and have found the things that help to minimize my pain so I can be as active as I'm able. I have spent many a day and many a tear talking through my pain...learning how to recognize and change my thoughts. I've learned a level of acceptance with myself and my life and I know too...that I still have one to live. It may be a hurting life...but it's mine. I've changed in many ways and my pain is a part of who I am and I accept that...but...I won't stop looking for ways to help me through...I have work to do.
Now I'm not sharing this as a way of telling you stop taking your medications okay? I'm sharing this as a way of asking you to give thought to why you're taking them. Are you hoping it'll fix you? Are you thinking you can just swallow and not do any of the work? What is your motivation for taking your medications?
There are some medications that are life sustaining and needed...but are all of the medications you're taking helping you? Are they doing what they should for you? Are you living a better life because of the pills you take? What else could you try to help minimize your pain? Personal questions I know but only you know the answers and I hope you'll be honest with yourself.
I will say this though...the fix to your pain is not in a pill bottle...it's in you! it's in the things you do for you when you're hurting...it's in the thoughts you keep about yourself and your life...it's what you do about what you got now moving forward. It's how you live your life for you and not your pain.
Just my opinion
RSS Feed
