The following was left as a message for me on the FB page and I thought it something to share here too. It's not always easy to put into words how we are feeling and then to share it with others hoping they might understand. I think anyone living a pained life will know how this feels....
Hi, I live with chronic pain and chronic depression..... I just wrote this, and it's really depressing, however, it wasn't meant to be.
I needed to get my feelings out before I did something dumb. If it might help someone else, go ahead and publish it. If it's too much of a downer, Iunderstand...........................................................................
Your heart aches and you don't know why, overwhelming loneliness engulfs your soul and you don't know why, pain that can't be described invades every fiber of your being - every mussel, every bone, every cell of your body is in heart wrenching pain and blackness lands, like an alien you've seen in pictures, but never in person - swirling around & around until it has you in it's grip..... and ALL you want to do is get rid of it, make it stop, make it go away... no matter what the cost! Day after day you pray to God, please God, please make it go away.... until you decide to go talk to God in person - and at last, it's gone... but so are you. And until that day comes, you suffer. You not only suffer all of this, you suffer the people who don't understand, you suffer the stigma of some thing called "mental illness", also known as depression. It isn't something you asked for, or want, or need - it's just there, with a grip that won't let go..... after 50 years, I guess I should know. It isn't about a break up, or lost family & friends..... it's not even about not liking yourself - it's all about the pain you can never seem to rid yourself of. I wish more people understood.
Hi, I live with chronic pain and chronic depression..... I just wrote this, and it's really depressing, however, it wasn't meant to be.
I needed to get my feelings out before I did something dumb. If it might help someone else, go ahead and publish it. If it's too much of a downer, Iunderstand...........................................................................
Your heart aches and you don't know why, overwhelming loneliness engulfs your soul and you don't know why, pain that can't be described invades every fiber of your being - every mussel, every bone, every cell of your body is in heart wrenching pain and blackness lands, like an alien you've seen in pictures, but never in person - swirling around & around until it has you in it's grip..... and ALL you want to do is get rid of it, make it stop, make it go away... no matter what the cost! Day after day you pray to God, please God, please make it go away.... until you decide to go talk to God in person - and at last, it's gone... but so are you. And until that day comes, you suffer. You not only suffer all of this, you suffer the people who don't understand, you suffer the stigma of some thing called "mental illness", also known as depression. It isn't something you asked for, or want, or need - it's just there, with a grip that won't let go..... after 50 years, I guess I should know. It isn't about a break up, or lost family & friends..... it's not even about not liking yourself - it's all about the pain you can never seem to rid yourself of. I wish more people understood.
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