Have you ever noticed moments when your pain is high and your patience is short, that you snap at the clerk in a store because the line up is moving slow or they are checking your items? Does the sight of a long line-up make you sigh and regret ever having left home?
While you're driving, do you find on the days your pain is high, so is your road rage? What's your patience level like with people who sit through an advanced turning light? Is the car horn what you reach for? and is it followed by a colourful link of swear words that even a seasoned trucker would blush at?
What about at home? Do you have kids? If you do, you may have noticed the look of disappointment cross their face when you said “no not today, I'm not feeling well” or whatever it is you say to your kids. Our children look to us as though we can do it all. They don't understand our limitations. They're only kids. They don't have the ability to understand. Often our children think we are mad at them if we answer a question with impatience. It's the pain talking but they don't know that. Have you ever over-reacted to your child's behaviour because of your pain?
How many times have you said to your spouse or life-partner, “not tonight, I'm hurting too much”. Has the closeness of your relationship changed? Has the share of “household” chores shifted with your partner picking up most of your duties around the house? Do you enjoy the activities you once did now that your pain is involved?
I bet you have friends too, or maybe you've isolated yourself and they've stopped calling. Do you avoid friends you worked with because being around them reminds you of all that you lost or can't do anymore? Do you resent your friends going places and doing things that you want to do but feel you can't because of pain?
I don't bring this up to lay guilt or place blame. I share this with you as a way of looking at your situation differently. Realizing and understanding the impact pain has on every aspect of our lives, as well as those we choose to share it with, is important.
Once we understand the affect of pain we can begin to change it.
take good care of you