Have you ever gone for a swim in the pool of self-pity? Ever bathed yourself in negative thoughts...dipped your toes in the water...sat at the edge of the pool with your feet dangling till you were lost in thought feeling sorry for yourself? You can go for a swim but be careful not to drown.
Life will knock us down at times and make us question everything we thought we knew about life and about ourselves. When this happens its easy to remember isn't it? To remember all the other times in your life something else has gone wrong...whether its something similar or not...all you can remember are the other moments when something went wrong and you felt pain.
Sometimes too I think we can get a little distorted in our thinking, we begin to generalize and eventually all we can see is negativity of our lives. Going for a swim in the pool of self-pity is a human thing. We've all done it at one time or another but we also have to be careful that our thinking matches the facts of the situation.
Life will knock us down at times and make us question everything we thought we knew about life and about ourselves. When this happens its easy to remember isn't it? To remember all the other times in your life something else has gone wrong...whether its something similar or not...all you can remember are the other moments when something went wrong and you felt pain.
Sometimes too I think we can get a little distorted in our thinking, we begin to generalize and eventually all we can see is negativity of our lives. Going for a swim in the pool of self-pity is a human thing. We've all done it at one time or another but we also have to be careful that our thinking matches the facts of the situation.
Have you ever noticed this? When your thoughts are really negative they often don't match the facts of the situation. We internalize other peoples actions and words and we often put unintended meaning to it. A good example is when a relationship breaks up - you may think no one will ever love you....everyone leaves you...you're unworthy of love....that's distorted thinking and you're going for a swim. Truth is you are worthy, this person wasn't for you. It's hard I know and it doesn't make the pain hurt less...but it also doesn't mean you are unworthy or unlovable...cause you're are! yep you are lovable just as you are...the right person will see that and this person wasn't them.
The above is just one example of how our thoughts can become distorted. Have you ever tried a treatment for your pain and it didn't work? Did your next thought go something like this..."I'll never be pain free. My life is over. There is nothing I can do to help myself"? You may not have thought this the first time with a failed treatment...but what about the fourth or the fifth failed treatment or pill? What were your thoughts like then....that's distorted thinking and you're going for a swim. Truth is there is not one pill, not one individual treatment that will cure you of your pain...there isn't one...but there are treatments when used in combination that can help minimize your pain and increase your ability to live your life. You just need to find the right combination for you. You're unique and so will your treatment plan be. Your life isn't over.
I could go on and on about how we can distort our own thoughts....but I'd much rather start talking about how we can get out of the pool and dry ourselves off. Our thoughts can be changed but we need to understand them and we need to challenge them. Are you ready to dry off?
We will all go for a swim in the pool of self-pity...it's a human thing...but there are things we can do to get out and get going again...be gentle and forgiving with yourself too when you do go for a dip...and remember to talk to yourself lovingly and encouragingly...words hurt...even our own.
take good care of you
The above is just one example of how our thoughts can become distorted. Have you ever tried a treatment for your pain and it didn't work? Did your next thought go something like this..."I'll never be pain free. My life is over. There is nothing I can do to help myself"? You may not have thought this the first time with a failed treatment...but what about the fourth or the fifth failed treatment or pill? What were your thoughts like then....that's distorted thinking and you're going for a swim. Truth is there is not one pill, not one individual treatment that will cure you of your pain...there isn't one...but there are treatments when used in combination that can help minimize your pain and increase your ability to live your life. You just need to find the right combination for you. You're unique and so will your treatment plan be. Your life isn't over.
I could go on and on about how we can distort our own thoughts....but I'd much rather start talking about how we can get out of the pool and dry ourselves off. Our thoughts can be changed but we need to understand them and we need to challenge them. Are you ready to dry off?
- when you catch yourself getting ready to go for a swim...stop yourself...question and challenge your thoughts...are your thoughts just rehashed versions of someone else's negative opinion?...challenge the truths against the facts you know about yourself and your life
- when negative thoughts are keeping you in the pool...remind yourself of all the times you have survived what you thought would kill you but didn't...you're stronger than you think and believe yourself to be...and this too you will survive
- remind yourself of all the accomplishments and goals you are working towards...when you have something in your life that is positive and keeps you busy, it's hard to find the time to be negative
- get some rest and relax...calm your mind...soothe your thoughts...negative thoughts get nice and cozy in a tired exhausted mind...don't invite them to stay in yours
- for every negative thought you allow yourself to think and feel...apologize to yourself and then remind yourself of 5 things that are positive and good about you and your life...life happens both the good and the bad...and both deserve equal argument in the value of your life's worth...refocus your mind on the good
- allow yourself to feel the self-pity...the poor me feelings...but limit the amount of time you spend with these feelings...set a clock or a timer if you need to but do not let yourself get lost going for a swim...when the timer goes off...take the time and release the feelings...take a deep breathe and move forward with your day
We will all go for a swim in the pool of self-pity...it's a human thing...but there are things we can do to get out and get going again...be gentle and forgiving with yourself too when you do go for a dip...and remember to talk to yourself lovingly and encouragingly...words hurt...even our own.
take good care of you
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