Oh my...this hurts. I'm so stiff and sore. It can't be morning already. Didn't I just go to bed? Seriously! it can't be morning already. I feel like crap. Did I even sleep? I don't wanna do it. Do I have to do today? (Yes!! you have to do today) *hangs head* Damn. Alright. Let's go pee and then get this shit show on the go. (sits on the edge of the bed...do I really have to do this?) Yes! you got this!
Is it really morning? *big sigh* rubs sleep out of eyes and stumbles around...big stretch...OUCH that hurts (whimpers and laughs). Well...I'm hurting so I know I ain't dead yet...(that's a good thing I guess). Was the toilet seat this far down yesterday? (I'm glad I don't have to worry about checking the toilet seat...one benefit of living alone) *chuckles*
What do I have to do today? (brain goes through the list) Yeah I don't wanna do that today. It can wait another day? (But the laundry is still in the basket...it needs to go away). Yeah but it's already folded so it's fine...I can leave that one too. Oh yeah the bed...it needs to be stripped. I'll do that one later. (comes down the stairs and sees kitchen...oh F*&K I have to do that today) - yep!
Do I have to go anywhere today? Do I have to get a shower? Do I have to get dressed...wear a bra? (that thing is torture...why was I born a girl? I really wish I could get away without one) What can I wear that won't hurt? Is it clean? Dang! I forgot to start that load of laundry last night. Maybe I'll just stay in my comfies all day. (nah I'll find something to wear) Gotta do that load of laundry later...can't forget again.
AWW there's Chance...rolling on the floor looking for a belly rub...how can I not rub that belly? good morning baby girl. (makes me smile silly to see her like that and I just gotta rub her). Feed the cat, give her fresh water...pull her tail so she's happy. (she makes me smile)
One of these days I really just wanna sleep and actually wake up feeling good and feeling rested. OH well! it ain't today but one of these days (add it to the list)
Let's go see how the page is doing. What am I going to write for the website today? What was that idea I had yesterday? Oh I forget now. (I really gotta start writing this stuff down...I never remember it...don't know why I think I will...my memory sucks) I'll figure something out.
I'm so gonna have a nap today...(yep!)
music on...therapy begins...deep breaths...shake your shoulders...I know you're hurting but you can do this...let's get this day started...you got stuff to do and a nap to have (I love my naps)
(turns on computer)
Funny thing is? All of that (and more even some days) goes through my head in a matter of minutes and this is only a small sprinkling of the conversations I have with me throughout my days...I talk to myself a lot! and I can bounce around in my head like a rubber ball some days.
But you know what? There were days when I couldn't even get past the first conversation...getting out of bed. And there were also days when I would beat myself up for not being able to wash, fold and put away my laundry all in the same day...now though? it can wait. It's clean, it's folded...and that's okay. And beating myself up over chores? NAH! no more of that! (I'll do what I can when I can and that's OKAY!)
I'm sharing a small part of the voices in my head to get you thinking about the voices in your head. What do they sound like? how do you talk to you?
Our words have power...even the things we say to ourselves as we bounce around our days. If you feel battered and bruised after a talk with your thoughts...what can you do to change that? will you change it?
take good care of you and please....be mindful of the conversations in your head...your words are powerful!