When you ignore your own happiness for the happiness of others...what are you communicating?
When you take care of everything for everyone...what are you communicating?
When you read the questions did you answer them? If not, take a minute to do so please. Give them careful thought and think about your answers too when you do answer the questions okay?
What are you communicating?....here are just a few things to think about...
- that you don't value yourself enough...that your needs are unimportant to you
- that it's okay for others to ignore your needs too
- that you care more for the needs of others and will make yourself unhappy to do so
- that you're a push over - easily manipulated into doing things for others that they can do for themselves
- that you don't trust anyone to do things as good as you can
- that the people in your life are incapable of doing things for themselves so you have to do it for them
- that you think you can do it all...and some will gladly let you do it all too and then watch as you run around scrambling
- that making yourself miserable to make others happy is normal and you're good with that
What you are communicating by doing this is a lot more than just the words you're saying.
- Do you not think your needs deserve to be answered, nurtured and cared for? Why not?
- What happens when you're on "empty" and people are still making demands of you and your time? What happens then?
- When will your needs be important enough for you to say "no" to someone?
- Do you think the people in your life are incapable of doing things for them-self?
- Why must you do everything for everyone?
- If you're busy doing everything for everyone...when will you make the time for you?
- Do you realize that by doing everything for everyone it won't make them love you more?
I know many people say they just don't have the time to take care of their own needs...that they're just too busy...but really...are you? Can some of the things you're too busy doing be done by some of the people who are asking you to do these things? Can some of the things you're too busy doing wait a day or two? or even an hour so you can do something you need to do for you? When will you be able to say "no" and not feel guilty because it conflicted with your needs? When will you ask someone to help you with a need you have so that you can help them meet their needs? WHEN WILL YOU MAKE THE TIME FOR YOU?
We all have the same amount of time in the day...24 hours...that's it...that's all we get. YOU deserve time in your day that is meant just for you. It's YOUR day!! plan it around you too and not everyone else. Now I'm not saying not to help out or to do things for others...but what I am saying is that you need to value yourself and your needs as much as you value the needs of those around you.
It's not normal to always put your needs before the needs of others...yes it's good to help our fellow man when we can and so we should...but we also need to learn to value ourselves just as much.
Please take as good care of you as you do of others...answer your needs and care for yourself too. Your needs are important. Keep in mind the message you are telling your children when you ignore your own needs. They are watching and they are learning. Our children need to learn how to address and care for their needs too in a healthy way...lead by example by caring for your own.
take good care of you please