What do you do when.....? Part two....

The other day I posted a lot of questions and yes...some were very personal I know...but I hope you took the time to read them. When I shared the questions, I got a lot of feedback and one message in particular stood out for me...and it came with some questions of it's own....

What do you do when....

• When your partner wants sex and you're unable?
• When your children need you and your pain says no?
• When you feel guilty for not being able to do things anymore?
• When you have to give up driving?
• When you struggle each day to find something to live for?
• When you can't let go of who you "used" to be?

See? as I said there were even more questions...and I bet if you were to take some time, you could come up with a few of your own.  (hint...take the time now okay and make your own list)

Another question in this message was...why are you asking such hurtful questions?
I do apologize if the questions were painful to read and/or to think about. It's not easy living with a chronic illness whether it be mental, emotional, physical or a combination of the three...it's not easy! BUT...and it's a big one...there are things we can do plan and prepare for our pain...there are things we can do.

I asked the questions as a way of getting you to think...to think about how you are coping right now...to think about what you can do differently moving forward...and to remind you that there are things you can do. I did it to remind you also that you're not alone in your thoughts and to encourage to take back the control from your pain...because when we plan for our pain...we can help ourselves and we can lessen the impact our pain has within our lives. 

​SO...here's a few more questions to think about....

• What helps you to cope with your pain? (without leaving scars behind)
• What makes you smile and enjoy your life?
• What makes you laugh till your belly hurts?
• Who are the people you can always count on to be there?
• What soothes your mind? your body? (when was the last time you did this for yourself?)
• When your thoughts are hurting...what do you say to yourself? (are your thoughts helpful or hurtful?)  what do you need to hear instead? 
• Where can you go to give yourself some space from the stressors of life, family, responsibilities and even your pain? (nature, the beach, a workshop, church, art gallery, bakery...where do you go?)
• How will you communicate your needs to those around you? (they aren't mind readers)

Our pain will change somethings in our lives and even somethings about us...BUT...there are things we can do for ourselves to help us through our pain. Give some thought to what you need right now to help yourself through and then go take the time to help yourself. 

take good care of you please and your needs too...that's where your control truly is and you are so worth the effort you take and make for you! yes you are!

​Tammy