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What I say and what you hear....are two different things....

9/10/2015

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Have you ever noticed this in your life...that what you say is not always what "they" hear? 

When I say I am unable to do that...it does not mean I am unwilling - it means I'm either feeling too much pain today to do that or I'm just not physically capable of moving that way.

When I say I'm too stressed out to do that...it does not mean I am just shy - it means I've reached my maximum people exposure limits and I need to regroup myself.

When I say I cannot face the humiliation of attempting to do that...it does not mean I am overreacting - it means I don't want people looking at me and laughing when I make the attempt to do something new or something that I know will most likely struggle with. I'm scared.

When I say my body will physically not allow me to do that...it does not mean I need to get more experience in social situations to help my anxiety - it means I am aware of my physical, mental and emotional limitations at this very moment.

When I say I am on the verge of a panic attack...it does not mean that I need a push - it means I need your support, patience and understanding. I need to know that I am safe and that it's okay to feel this way. 

When I say I cannot do that...it does not mean I don't want to do that - it means I am wanting and wishing that I could but know I can't. Or it could mean that I am just too overwhelmed to consider it at this moment...maybe another day I could.

What we say is not always what is heard. Do you find that in your life too? When you say "I can't do that" what are you communicating and why? Is "I can't do that" the best way to share how you're feeling? Does it open the lines of communication and understanding with those around you? When you say...."I can't do that"...and it's misunderstood...do you explain further? do you get flustered? what do you do?

Living a pained and hurting life requires more communication than many of us are used to and it requires a level of understanding many just don't have...and I think that's where some of the communication break down starts. When you're about to say "I can't do that" please give thought to why you're saying it...and your reasons why is what needs to shared instead of saying "I can't".

Open the lines of communication with those around you and really start talking to and with each other because we can't break down the barriers or remove the stigma if we don't learn communicate with one another. SO...start openly talking to each other and those in your life and remove some of the misunderstandings.

Take good care of you and each other.
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    Tammy...

    is living life with chronic pain...doing the best I can with everyday. 

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