Now let me ask you this...how well did all that thinking...all that raging...all that remembering...help you heal and move forward? It didn't help me much...nope! not at all. It kept me stuck, kept me angry, and it kept me wallowing in all that I thought I wasn't anymore and would never be again. I gave up because I wasn't me anymore. It was a painful circle that I kept myself in with my own thoughts.
You know it's true. Your own thoughts are keeping you here...just like mine did. Now don't get me wrong...I do believe this stage is a part of our healing. We have to get angry, we have to be sad...we lost something. Don't deny that. But also please? don't stay there wallowing in it. It won't get you anywhere but deeper in the hole. And it's time to climb out!
- first and foremost? accept it! you can't change it...it is what it is...cliche I know but don't fight something you can't change...learn how to live with it...learn how to manage it...learn how to help yourself heal through it
- instead of focusing on all the that you think you "used to be able to do"....give some thought to what you can STILL do now! sometimes we get stuck in what we think we lost and we forget all the other ways we're still able...and we're more able than we give ourselves credit for! you know it's true
- and give thought to how you can do some things differently now moving forward. How you once did something isn't the only way to do it...adapt, change, modify, and relearn how you can do things now...differently
- always remember that you are more than what you can do! it's not about what you do for a living, it's not about how much money you make, it's about the smiles, the love and the laughter you share with those in your life...that's what's important!
- it's okay to remember the you you were before the pain and/or illness was a part of your days...but don't forget to acknowledge who you are now! and you are so much more than you give yourself credit for some days...YES!! you are!!
- don't forget about your dreams...your hopes...and your needs too. Live for them! explore them! they're still possible. Yes you may have do go about things differently, but don't stop living for you!
I know it can be hard to accept some of the things your pain has changed about you...BUT...and it's a big one!! not everything about you changed. Don't lose sight of that okay? And don't beat yourself up for what you think you aren't anymore...love yourself for all that you are now...because you are so much more than you think, better than you believe and stronger than you give yourself credit for some days.
I mentioned earlier in this article that I had given up because I wasn't me anymore...but one lesson I've learned through all of this pain, is that I dictate who I am...I get to decide that...not my pain...ME! And I won't let my pain dictate who I am anymore! and you know what else? you can make that choice too!
If you're stuck on all that you used to be able to do...give some thought to what you can do now and how you're going to do it.
take good care of you please