A while ago...I was having a conversation with someone in my life and I'm wondering if you've ever experienced something like it too. I wonder too if maybe this might be the reason behind some of the misconceptions and communication break downs surrounding "invisible illnesses". 

Now please keep in mind that I am making no judgments on this conversation but simply sharing it.

​In an attempt to explain what life is like for me...this is how it went...

Friend: I can't imagine what life is like feeling pain every day. I just can't. I can't picture it.
Me: Imagine the worst pain you've ever felt in your life. Now think of what it would be like to live with that each and every day of your life.
Friend: I can't. 
Me: Have you ever felt pain? Pain that limits your movements, your abilities, pain that makes you want to curl up into a ball and wish to be over? 
Friend: Yes, it was excruciating...but it went away.

​Sometimes I can feel it coming and it's been coming for awhile now. I'm feeling tired, burnt out, and I need things to stop. 

Has this ever happened to you? Can you feel it coming? It's almost like a physical and emotional slide and things come crashing down...all systems failed. Body hurts, emotions do too and thoughts are heavy. 

How do you stop the hurt? or do you? or do you make the pain worse? 

I think there are times when no matter what we do for ourselves...this slide will come and we just have to hang on. We have to take the time for us and our needs...we have to be careful of our thoughts...and we have to be extra loving to ourselves.

This just makes me smile...Hey Dude, It's Friday! So how are you doing? How was your week? Did you take some time for you and your needs? I hope so! I know I needed my coping skills this week and I'm in need of some more today. It's been a week! 

We can't change that we hurt...but we can change what we do about it and how we think about it. Taking the time for you and your needs is not selfish...it's self-love. It's not lazy either okay? It's a healthy healing thing and sometimes our bodies just need a break. It's okay if the only thing you do                                                                                                   for a day is breathe...it's okay!

I do this reminder on Fridays but really? you don't have to wait till Friday or till the weekend to soothe and care for your needs. Take the time as you need and as you can make it...but you need to take the time! If you're in need of some "ME Time" I hope it take it! Find the things that make you smile and feel good, the things that make you laugh till you cry, the things that help you to live beyond your pain, to soothe and care for your physical, emotional and mental needs too...do what you can for you.

Happy Friday to you and I hope your weekend treats you gentle and you do too...please take good care of you.

Picture found at Tales of an Overworked Mom on FB

I can admit it...I've let the dust settle lately and I've dimmed my own brilliance by doing so. I've allowed the actions and behaviours of others to impact how I feel and I've allowed those feelings to impact me...and even my anger too. And it's all made me question my own worth. 

But you know what? The behaviours, thoughts and actions of others should not change how I feel about nor think about myself. I am ME!...and they are them. Their opinions are not me....mine are! Their thoughts are not me...mine are! And their behaviours are not me either. It's all a reflection of who they are...not who I am. 

The actions, thoughts and behaviours of others have very little to do with me and all to do with their own past, their own experiences, their own thoughts and feelings too.

Don't allow the dust of others to settle into who you are and dim your brilliance. Let go of the anger and remember your worth...remember who you truly are. 

There is a lot on my mind but I'm afraid that if I tell you...you'll think I'm weak...I'm not...but I am struggling with my thoughts and I need to talk about them to work them out. But I worry about you learning of my demons. They've kept me company for a long time now and we're rather close. But they're not who I am...not really. 

There is a lot on my mind but I'm afraid that if I tell you...you'll look at me differently. That you will only see my cracks and not how hard I'm trying. I can't hide my cracks...they are a part of me. They are my scars, my fears and my insecurities too...I have cracks. And I fear that if you see them all...you won't look at me the same...that you'll think me unlovable. 

There is a lot on my mind but I'm afraid that if I tell you...you will walk away like others have. So I stay quiet. I endure. I cry and I question why. Why am I too hard to love? Why can't others understand? What's wrong with me? 

There are many reasons why I stay I quiet and I wish someone would just hug me and let me know I'm not alone. That someone thinks I'm worth fighting for...worth sticking around for. That I am needed, wanted and loved. I need to know. But I'm afraid that if I tell you...

(A journey into me)
​Tammy 

Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear. 

~~Unknown~~



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Picture taken by my daughter Emily

HA! yep 












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When faced with senseless drama, spiteful criticisms and misguided opinions, walking away is the best way to stand up for yourself. To respond with anger is an endorsement of their attitude. 

~~Dodinsky~~




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Picture taken at the Pinery