It's true! Now that the new year is here...it's time to start a new story in your life.

A story that sees you letting go from the past...growing through it all. A new story that celebrates your strengths, your courage and the things you love in life. It's time to start a new story.

​A story of your dreams, your goals, your hopes and wishes too and even your needs. It's your life...it's your                                                                                                                                 story...and a new book begins today. 

What do you want to write in your story? What kind of life do you want to live? What can you do to make that come true this year?

​Cheers to a new beginning! 

I wish I had seen this piece in the earlier days of my pain...maybe then I would have managed it better...maybe.

Truth is...living with chronic pain isn't just about living with the pain. It was a painful lesson that took me many years to learn, and honestly? I'm still learning it...learning to live it...learning.

Living a hurting life really isn't about our pain though...it's about the fear, depression and the panic we feel and how we cope with it. It's about our relationships and how our pain can impact them. It's about the feelings of guilt we feel and all the reasons we feel it and it's about grieving for the life we lost or can no longer live the way we want anymore. It's about the struggles we face daily and even our own negative thoughts OH...and the negativity of others (can't forget that because yes! we live with that too).

But one thing our hurting life is also? it's ours to live to the best of our abilities.

(meme found at Trigeminal Neuralgia on Facebook)

Have you ever felt guilty for needing help? Have you ever felt like a burden to those around you? I have too and recently...I had a conversation with someone I love and respect, and this is what she told me...

When you feel guilty for accepting my help, it diminishes the joy I get when I help you.

BOOM! I never thought of it that way. Did you? 

But you know what? the more I thought about it...the more I couldn't deny it. I know I have felt joy and even other good feelings too when I've been able to help someone, to make a difference in their lives...it feels good.

Have you ever noticed that when you're helping others, it can even help you to feel alive again, to feel worthwhile, or even to be needed. When you've been able to help someone...what did that feel like for you? 

Now imagine the person you helped telling you or even crying to you how guilty they feel for even needing help? It kinda takes the shine of things doesn't it? yes it does.

The other day I posted a lot of questions and yes...some were very personal I know...but I hope you took the time to read them. When I shared the questions, I got a lot of feedback and one message in particular stood out for me...and it came with some questions of it's own....

What do you do when....

• When your partner wants sex and you're unable?
• When your children need you and your pain says no?
• When you feel guilty for not being able to do things anymore?
• When you have to give up driving?
• When you struggle each day to find something to live for?
• When you can't let go of who you "used" to be?

See? as I said there were even more questions...and I bet if you were to take some time, you could come up with a few of your own.  (hint...take the time now okay and make your own list)

I'd like to take some time to ask you some questions. I do realize that these are some pretty personal and even intrusive questions, but I hope you'll give them a look and take some time to answer them.

Now that you're living life with a chronic illness whether it's mental or physical...what do you do when...

• When your pain is trying to take control?
• When you have to stop doing a chore because of your pain?
• When you have to cancel plans or when you have to leave early?
• When you can't do what you want to do when you want to do it?
• When thoughts of socializing make you want to hide?
• When others don't understand?
• When you hear things like...just snap out of it...you don't look like you're hurting...or any of the other things you've heard?
• When your doctor doesn't believe you? or says there is nothing more they can do to help you? or says they can't prescribe you certain medications anymore?
• When you struggle to go to work each day?
• When you are unable to work anymore?

​

I've been feeling very "human" lately...needing a hug... needing to hide...needing to catch my breath...I've been really human lately.

And you know what? It's okay to have these needs, to have these thoughts, to feel like everything is just too much, to need to catch your breath...it's okay. Do you know what else is okay? 

It's okay if you can't keep it all together. It's okay if you struggle some days. It's okay to hide. It's okay to cry. It's okay! We are only human.

When these days come...what do you do for you? how do you handle them? Do you love and support yourself through these days or do you beat yourself up for feeling this way? What do you do? 

thank you S.C. Lourie and Butterflies and Pebbles

As you know I've been absent for a bit and I've been focusing on me and my needs. I've been struggling with my thoughts on my upcoming surgery and you know what I realized? My thoughts had me worrying about things that have not happened, that may not even happen...my thoughts have been rampant and I've borrowed trouble before I had trouble.

Yes it's natural to be worried about a surgery, how things will go, how you will heal afterwards, to be worried about the pain...it's all normal! but my thoughts had consumed me. I am scared, which is natural, but I can't control what's happening. I have to trust in the surgeon that he will take care of it. 

I will admit I even had the "why me" thoughts. I wasn't wishing someone else would experience this but I was wondering...why did I have to. What did I do to deserve this? But you know what? I didn't do anything...not one thing wrong did I do. Stop that train wreck thought quickly!

Every once in awhile I come across something that just feels like a hug...a needed and gentle reminder...a feel good thing...and this is one of those pieces.

I've been struggling lately with my thoughts and what's coming in my life...and I've let my thoughts lead long enough...

Today I give myself permission. 

I am not a machine, robot or even a superhero...and I won't get it all right... BUT...I need my free, my peace, my happy place...I NEED.

I need to let myself be and to learn something new (and too even remind myself too - I'm stronger than I think some days). This will be a moment in my life that I can grow from, learn from, and even move forward from...I CAN! Today I give myself                                                                                                                   permission to rule me.

When was the last time you gave yourself permission? Will you today? 

take good care of you and please....give yourself permission

thank you S.C. Lourie and Butterflies and Pebbles for such a powerful piece check them out on Facebook 

"Maybe no one ever told you before, maybe no one ever cared, but here it is: it's tough what you went through".

I think we all need to hear that sometimes. I know I do. It's a validation of sorts, it let's us feel heard, understood, supported...and we all need this some days. Do you? 

What we've been through has been rough, it's been hard, and we've often wondered if we were ever going to make it out. Are we strong enough? Will this nightmare ever end? We've wondered. I know I have.

But you know what? We have to stop putting ourselves down for this! We have to! Life is hard...but it's also a beautiful thing! and we are doing a damn good job at keeping up with it! YES WE ARE! 

thank you to the wonderful Nausicaa Twila for such powerful words...check her out on Facebook

When the summer started I gave a challenge here...a basic challenge to not let your pain stop you from making plans and enjoying the summer the way you wanted to.

Well...curious and nosy me now wants to know...did you do it? 
​

• Did you make plans this summer with your family, with your friends, with those that are special in your life...did you spend time with them? what did you do? 
• What did you do to help you prepare for your plans? 
• What did you bring along with you to help you cope with your pain while you were out and about? 
• What did you do for yourself and your needs when you came home and you were hurting for all you've done?
• What words did you use when talking with yourself when feeling your pain? What about those words when your anxiety, depression or even the PTSD said hello? How did you handle that?