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Forget who you were....but always remember who you are!

4/5/2016

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If I were to give one piece of advice to someone who was newly diagnosed or struggling it would be...
forget who you were but always remember who you are! Now that might sound confusing for some and I'll admit it was for me in the beginning too...but...and it's a big one...there is a difference.

Who I am now is not who I was...but in many ways I'm still me. I had to learn to forget who I was and I had to remember who I am. Does this make any sense? 

Before my injury and my pain...I was someone who could work 60+ hours a week and still care for my child (with the help of my parents). I had two jobs, a brand new car, and was active in my life and doing things with my daughter. I didn't have to think before I moved and pain was not a part of my days. I could clean my two bedroom apartment in an hour and still go on for more. I could run and play and I could dance the night away. 

But after my pain...things changed. I was not the same person. 
Who I am now is not who I was. Now that pain is a part of my life...it takes me at least two days to clean my home - the work is spread out over hours and days now. I can't run and play with my kid, nor can I work now. I need more breaks in between my activities and there are days when I just can't. 

I'll admit I got lost in all that I'm not anymore. I wanted it back. I wanted me back. But you know what? those things aren't what makes me me. Those are just things I could do...but they aren't ME. 

What makes me me? well that took me some time too. I am the love I have to give, the dreams I can't stop thinking about, I am the laughter I share with those around me, I am the support I can give to others. I am so much more than my pain...and sometimes when we want what we thought we were... we forget who we are.
  • I am not my job...but I am the love I gave while doing it. I still have love to give.
  • I am not how I clean my home or how slowly I may do it now...but I am a safe spot for my child when she needs Mom. 
  • I am not the person who may run and play nor dance all night...but I am the person who will spend hours talking with a friend who needs it or to share a laugh, a hug, or even just a quiet acceptance.
  • I am not the things that happened to me...but I am what I choose to become as a result of it.... Stronger! 
  • I am more than I give myself credit for.
  • I am the person who loves sunsets, nature and waterfalls. The girl who fell in love with the beach. I am the child who needs a hug some days...but I am not the pain I feel. 
  • I am the person who will help when she can and will give you what you need if she has it. 
  • I am the person who laughs loud, who cries hard, and is a big kid at heart.

Sometimes I think we can get lost in all that we thought we were and we can forget all the ways we are who we are. And sometimes...we need to forget who we were and we need to remember who we are.

Who are you? Who are you remembering? Forget who you were...but always remember who you are! 

take good care of you please
Tammy
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    Tammy...

    is living life with chronic pain...doing the best I can with everyday. 

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