A while ago...I was having a conversation with someone in my life and I'm wondering if you've ever experienced something like it too. I wonder too if maybe this might be the reason behind some of the misconceptions and communication break downs surrounding "invisible illnesses".
Now please keep in mind that I am making no judgments on this conversation but simply sharing it.
In an attempt to explain what life is like for me...this is how it went...
Friend: I can't imagine what life is like feeling pain every day. I just can't. I can't picture it.
Me: Imagine the worst pain you've ever felt in your life. Now think of what it would be like to live with that each and every day of your life.
Friend: I can't.
Me: Have you ever felt pain? Pain that limits your movements, your abilities, pain that makes you want to curl up into a ball and wish to be over?
Friend: Yes, it was excruciating...but it went away.
Now please keep in mind that I am making no judgments on this conversation but simply sharing it.
In an attempt to explain what life is like for me...this is how it went...
Friend: I can't imagine what life is like feeling pain every day. I just can't. I can't picture it.
Me: Imagine the worst pain you've ever felt in your life. Now think of what it would be like to live with that each and every day of your life.
Friend: I can't.
Me: Have you ever felt pain? Pain that limits your movements, your abilities, pain that makes you want to curl up into a ball and wish to be over?
Friend: Yes, it was excruciating...but it went away.
Me: Well that's what life for me is like but it doesn't go away. It may be easier from one day to the next... but there is always a level of pain.
Friend: I can't imagine that.
Me: From the minute you wake up to the minute you go to sleep...your body hurts. It can affect your thoughts, how you feel about yourself, it can impact how you care for your family, the things you can do. It's life impacting.
Friend: No, I can't imagine that. I don't think it would be that way for me. I don't see how this would stop me from attending my children's sporting events, their school stuff either. A little pain wouldn't stop me.
Me: Well that's just it. It's not a little pain, it's everywhere and it's everyday...and sometimes it can stop your life for a bit.
Friend: I can't imagine that.
Hmm...
Misconceptions? lots of them...communication break down? HUGE!
We have all made the attempts to share what we go through with those we love and sometimes those conversations don't go so well do they? no....they don't. And when this happens? well sometimes we just go quiet. We stop trying to explain and we just deal with it and sometimes we isolate ourselves too.
How can someone not understand? is a question I've asked myself many many times. Is it too hard to use your imagination? Do you not have any empathy? I've asked myself even more questions still...and I've come up with one answer....
Unless you live with this too...you can never understand what it's truly like.
And it makes me more thankful and grateful for those in my life who do.
Friend: I can't imagine that.
Me: From the minute you wake up to the minute you go to sleep...your body hurts. It can affect your thoughts, how you feel about yourself, it can impact how you care for your family, the things you can do. It's life impacting.
Friend: No, I can't imagine that. I don't think it would be that way for me. I don't see how this would stop me from attending my children's sporting events, their school stuff either. A little pain wouldn't stop me.
Me: Well that's just it. It's not a little pain, it's everywhere and it's everyday...and sometimes it can stop your life for a bit.
Friend: I can't imagine that.
Hmm...
Misconceptions? lots of them...communication break down? HUGE!
We have all made the attempts to share what we go through with those we love and sometimes those conversations don't go so well do they? no....they don't. And when this happens? well sometimes we just go quiet. We stop trying to explain and we just deal with it and sometimes we isolate ourselves too.
How can someone not understand? is a question I've asked myself many many times. Is it too hard to use your imagination? Do you not have any empathy? I've asked myself even more questions still...and I've come up with one answer....
Unless you live with this too...you can never understand what it's truly like.
And it makes me more thankful and grateful for those in my life who do.
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