Yesterday I had me a day...a day that required every coping skill I had yet still left me hurting. I've had some busy days lately and yesterday they hit me all at once. I couldn't move without hurting, breathe without wincing, and even my clothes hurt. It was a day!
I'm not sure about you, but I've noticed my pain accumulates...what I did on Wednesday was added to what I did on Thursday and even though I took Friday off to take care of my needs...I was busy on Saturday and Sunday too...so when Monday rolled around my body said NO! I even tried to go back to bed and start my day over again...but my body still said NO!
Four busy days was more than I could handle and my body went on strike. I should have known better but I couldn't help myself...I had things to do and projects to complete and even some home chores too (if I wanted to be able to wear clothes and eat off clean plates that is). So I pushed myself...to do more than I was capable of, to do more than my body could handle...and I was and still am hurting because of it all.
Today is easier than yesterday and I'm so glad for it too! But it made me remember the days when I would beat myself up for "being so stupid for causing myself more pain". I would have torn into myself...verbally and physically...and I would have packed myself on a guilt trip unlike any other. But now? yesterday? I did what I needed for me and I did it without guilt...I did it with a smile on my face thinking of all I got done, how nice it was to be out in the sunshine, to walk with my music...it felt good!
And you know what else it made me think about? Why did I ever beat myself up for living beyond my pain and doing something that made me feel good? Whether it brought me more pain or not...I did something for me...and I used to beat myself up for that? Hmm...how things have changed.
Please...don't beat yourself up for living beyond your pain...but do take the time you need for you to soothe and care for yourself when you have.
take good care of you eh?
I'm not sure about you, but I've noticed my pain accumulates...what I did on Wednesday was added to what I did on Thursday and even though I took Friday off to take care of my needs...I was busy on Saturday and Sunday too...so when Monday rolled around my body said NO! I even tried to go back to bed and start my day over again...but my body still said NO!
Four busy days was more than I could handle and my body went on strike. I should have known better but I couldn't help myself...I had things to do and projects to complete and even some home chores too (if I wanted to be able to wear clothes and eat off clean plates that is). So I pushed myself...to do more than I was capable of, to do more than my body could handle...and I was and still am hurting because of it all.
Today is easier than yesterday and I'm so glad for it too! But it made me remember the days when I would beat myself up for "being so stupid for causing myself more pain". I would have torn into myself...verbally and physically...and I would have packed myself on a guilt trip unlike any other. But now? yesterday? I did what I needed for me and I did it without guilt...I did it with a smile on my face thinking of all I got done, how nice it was to be out in the sunshine, to walk with my music...it felt good!
And you know what else it made me think about? Why did I ever beat myself up for living beyond my pain and doing something that made me feel good? Whether it brought me more pain or not...I did something for me...and I used to beat myself up for that? Hmm...how things have changed.
Please...don't beat yourself up for living beyond your pain...but do take the time you need for you to soothe and care for yourself when you have.
take good care of you eh?
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