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I'm Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired RANT...I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired

7/8/2015

4 Comments

 
Do you ever just get sick and tired of being sick and tired? Yeah me too! and lately I've been really F*&King sick of it. OH...yeah...language warning :) sorry

I think I've fallen off my wagon and my donkey is in a ditch. I'm mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted...I'm tired...and I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I'm sick and tired of people treating me in ways I would never treat them. And I'm sick and tired of them thinking it's okay. 

I'm sick and tired of hurting all the time and having little energy yet I have a mind that's wide awake and wants to do things.

I'm sick and tired of having to "accommodate" my pain into my life...of having to plan and prepare for it.

I'm sick and tired of having to do things in my life differently because of my pain.

I'm sick and tired of having to wake up each morning and mentally prepare myself for yet another day of pain. 

I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired and I'm tired of feeling pain...and I've damn well had enough of it. 
 It takes a lot of energy to plaster a smile on a hurting body each and every day...yet we hear all the time... "you don't look like you're hurting". 

That's another thing I'm sick and tired of! You don't look like you're hurting....what the F*&K do you want me to look like? Would you feel better if I was a crying blubbering mess? HUH? Would that make my pain easier for you to accept and believe? Screw you! I've been there and I ain't going back just to make you feel better! If you can't see the pain it's because I've gotten damn good at hiding it while simply smiling and saying "I'm Fine".

Well you know what? I'm not FINE! I'm not OKAY! I'm hurting.

And I'm sick and tired of it.

But I know too this feeling will pass and I will eventually move through this period...but for now? I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired and I'm tired of fighting this alone.
4 Comments
Nicole
7/8/2015 04:00:11 pm

I see you. I'm there with you. It sucks.
You're doing such a good job. And you are not alone.

Reply
Hope
7/28/2015 09:52:32 pm

I just got goosebumps! Every single hair is standing on end! This is everything I've though of but haven't been able to express it the way you did. Wow!
The reason for my mask is my mother. She's stubborn as a goat, and can be just as grumpy, she has lost much of her sight and her body has betrayed her BIG-TIME. That's the bad part. The best is I've had the past 5 years with her and she understands pain and vice versa. It's been one Hell of a ride, but there's no way I would've missed it for the world! Gotta love Mama!!! 💖😌😃

Reply
Barbara Haire
4/27/2016 08:39:00 pm

I totally get it!! I say I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired all the time. Sometimes I feel all alone, everybody gets to go about their day all happy go lucky while I have to sit and watch. I fucken hate it!!! I ask myself why do i have to be like this?? I never get a good answer....lol! Thank you for sharing and never apologize for swearing, I think we have earned that right.

Reply
Gai
4/30/2016 10:48:30 pm

I say the same to my partner... And worse... 😍 And I crash really badly at the same Hag time of the month... Then it all lifts a little for a week... Then it plummets again... Chronic pain is hideous... It's eats me alive from the inside out devouring all my beauty love peace and kindness... And no one can do anything for me to change it... Waking up to this thought of no change, no cure, no relief, ever, every day is a challenge of its own... Every day I wish to leave the planet... Every day I choose not to for others... Like a nightmare one is destined to live in until death.
Today I'm ok...
But it won't last, no matter how hard I work at being positive grateful and humble, it doesn't last.
The only thing that lasts is my strength to face another day of violent pain that robs me of all normal life.
So my daily choice is choosing not to kill myself at the very best and hoping not to yell at my beloved for whatever irrational reason that slaps me in the face.
I hear you beautiful.
Huge hugs.

Reply



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    Tammy...

    is living life with chronic pain...doing the best I can with everyday. 

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