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Chronic Pain & Life

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"Nothing"

11/12/2014

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Have you ever asked someone what was wrong and they replied...nothing. Have you ever replied with the same...nothing...when you were asked what was wrong?  Now the next question I have is...do you know why you said...nothing?

The word "nothing" drives some people crazy because they know you...and they know it's something and that's why they're asking...but you say...nothing...."Nothing is wrong"...BUT...there is something wrong isn't there? Yes there is.

Why did you say nothing? Why didn't you say what's on your mind? What does...nothing...mean to you? What are you not saying to those in your life when you respond...nothing. Hard questions I know but please give them some thought.
Maybe your nothing means...
  • I'm worried if I tell you, you will think less of me as  a person...maybe even love me less for how I think and feel.
  • I'm scared to tell you for fear of losing you.
  • I can't say what's on my mind because I can't find the right words to make you understand.
  • I don't know what's wrong with me. I wish I could tell you but I don't understand myself.
  • I'm struggling with myself today and not liking what I find. 
  • I feel sad and lonely. Yes you're here with me but the loneliness is inside me.
  • I need to know and hear you still love me but I'm afraid of being "needy".
  • I'm so confused by how I feel right now I can't think straight. If I talk now I'll say things I don't really mean and I don't want to hurt you.
  • I need space to deal with this alone.
  • I love you but I'm upset with you right now. My feelings are hurt and I need to deal with them.

Whatever your "nothing" means...know too that it is limiting the communication between you and those you share your life with. They're asking because they care and they want to help if they can. 

Saying what's on your mind isn't always easy when you're struggling to find the words...but instead of saying...nothing...let the people in your life know what's going on. Let them know you're struggling with your thoughts, that you appreciate their concern and support, and when you're ready and able, you will come back and talk to them.

Giving...nothing...as a response, is a little passive-aggressive too and closes the lines of communication. You know it's something rather than nothing...so be open about that...own your thoughts and your feelings and express them as clearly and openly as you can. Be mindful of your own emotions too when choosing your words and talk nicely.

We complain that people just don't understand but if we're always saying...nothing...how is that helping? How is...nothing...opening the lines of communication? 

take good care of you and start talking to each other
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    Tammy...

    is living life with chronic pain...doing the best I can with everyday. 

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