**intimate topic warning** read with consideration and caution please.
6+3=9 but so does 5+4. The way you do things...isn't always the only way to do them. Would you agree with that? What about the way you did things before your pain? Is that the only way to do things? Now that you're living a hurting life...could there possibly be a different way?
How we do things now in our lives...may not be how we did things before our pain. To be honest? It most likely is different for many things...household chores and intimacy comes to mind quickly. Have you ever had to change how you do things in your life now because of your pain? If so...what did you change and how did you do it? Could you possibly change how you do something in your life to make it easier for you to do?
For me...changes came the most with household chores. What I could do in one day before pain...is not what I can do now. And how I do some chores has changed too. Laundry and dishes, stripping and remaking my bed and a few others too...needed to be adapted so I could keep taking care of my home and myself.
6+3=9 but so does 5+4. The way you do things...isn't always the only way to do them. Would you agree with that? What about the way you did things before your pain? Is that the only way to do things? Now that you're living a hurting life...could there possibly be a different way?
How we do things now in our lives...may not be how we did things before our pain. To be honest? It most likely is different for many things...household chores and intimacy comes to mind quickly. Have you ever had to change how you do things in your life now because of your pain? If so...what did you change and how did you do it? Could you possibly change how you do something in your life to make it easier for you to do?
For me...changes came the most with household chores. What I could do in one day before pain...is not what I can do now. And how I do some chores has changed too. Laundry and dishes, stripping and remaking my bed and a few others too...needed to be adapted so I could keep taking care of my home and myself.
One of the biggest things I did for myself was to accept that the dishes could wait, the laundry could too, I could even stop and take a break in between my chores...and I could even say...enough is enough and stop. (I guess my expectations changed too)
Learning to be okay with leaving the chores to wait took me some time (I'm a bit of neat freak). I've learned to accept it takes me longer to clean my home and to spread my chores out over a few days instead of all at once...learning to pace myself and to accept my limits. (it also gives me something to do each day now that I'm retired)
Intimacy and even being able to be intimate was another thing I had to learn how to do differently. What I used to be able to do all night...now takes me all night to do. Most often I need to take some breaks in between, change positions or even stop. Trying to separate myself from my partner takes time and patience in some positions as my body can lock up. Even being able to maintain some positions is difficult and limited at best. For what is supposed to be pleasurable can often be intimidating and daunting at times.
Learning new positions that are comfortable for my body and even using some supportive pillows and making other adaptions too...I can maintain some level of intimacy in my life. Being open with a partner about my limits is kind of scary. I've been rejected because of them and finding someone who can accept all that is me in an intimate fashion...keeps me single.
I could on and on about the changes I've made in my life so I can keep living it. From wearing my comfy clothes when my body needs it, from taking my ME Days when I just can't and being okay with it, changing what I eat and losing over a hundred pounds, getting healthy and exercise too...changing my thoughts and being more aware of what I'm feeling and why...I could go on. How I do the many things in my life has changed now.
Yes these changes came as a result of my pain but I chose these changes so I could keep doing what I need for me...so I could keep living my life. There are some changes in my life that I can't control but there are also some changes that I can implement into my life that makes being me more easy. From taking care of my home...myself...even my sex life...I can make some changes. How I do things now may not be how I did things then...and that's okay. I'm doing things a whole new way now and I'm moving forward.
6+3=9 but so does 5+4...and how you do things in your life now that pain is a part of it will change. There are things you won't be able to control and then there are things you will be able to. I hope you take the risks and the chances too to make the changes for you moving forward. Live life for you and not your pain.
take good care of you
Tammy
Learning to be okay with leaving the chores to wait took me some time (I'm a bit of neat freak). I've learned to accept it takes me longer to clean my home and to spread my chores out over a few days instead of all at once...learning to pace myself and to accept my limits. (it also gives me something to do each day now that I'm retired)
Intimacy and even being able to be intimate was another thing I had to learn how to do differently. What I used to be able to do all night...now takes me all night to do. Most often I need to take some breaks in between, change positions or even stop. Trying to separate myself from my partner takes time and patience in some positions as my body can lock up. Even being able to maintain some positions is difficult and limited at best. For what is supposed to be pleasurable can often be intimidating and daunting at times.
Learning new positions that are comfortable for my body and even using some supportive pillows and making other adaptions too...I can maintain some level of intimacy in my life. Being open with a partner about my limits is kind of scary. I've been rejected because of them and finding someone who can accept all that is me in an intimate fashion...keeps me single.
I could on and on about the changes I've made in my life so I can keep living it. From wearing my comfy clothes when my body needs it, from taking my ME Days when I just can't and being okay with it, changing what I eat and losing over a hundred pounds, getting healthy and exercise too...changing my thoughts and being more aware of what I'm feeling and why...I could go on. How I do the many things in my life has changed now.
Yes these changes came as a result of my pain but I chose these changes so I could keep doing what I need for me...so I could keep living my life. There are some changes in my life that I can't control but there are also some changes that I can implement into my life that makes being me more easy. From taking care of my home...myself...even my sex life...I can make some changes. How I do things now may not be how I did things then...and that's okay. I'm doing things a whole new way now and I'm moving forward.
6+3=9 but so does 5+4...and how you do things in your life now that pain is a part of it will change. There are things you won't be able to control and then there are things you will be able to. I hope you take the risks and the chances too to make the changes for you moving forward. Live life for you and not your pain.
take good care of you
Tammy
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