What wounds are you bandaging right now? 

What are you using to cover them up?

We all have wounds. Those things that happened in our lives that scared us...that left us hurting...that left us feeling inadequate, inferior and even feeling broken inside.

We all have wounds.

Have you made peace with yours? Or do you use drugs and alcohol as a way to avoid your life? Do you seek to get lost in a bottle of alcohol or pills? Is it a toke, a joint or maybe a line? Do you harm yourself in the hopes of numbing all the ways you're feeling your pain?...pain is not only physical...it's emotional and mental too.

Maybe you're dealing with your wounds by soothing yourself with food. Does it make you feel better? Do you then chastise yourself afterwards for what you've eaten? It's a vicious circle that makes you turn to the food again and again because your thoughts and feelings go round and round. Does food soothe your pain? Or maybe you're avoiding food. Do you care enough about yourself to eat? Do you have the energy to cook or to prepare food? Have you even gone shopping yet?

Today we believe God wants you to know that today you have cause for celebration.

Today, you should celebrate what an unbelievable life you have had so far: the accomplishments, the blessings, and, yes, even the hardships because they have served to make you stronger. Just as a gem cannot be polished without friction, nor can a life be perfect without trials. Take time to acknowledge your life and to praise yourself.

Picture taken in Grand Bend, ON

Please take the time to read this. How does it make you feel?

Personally for me, it made me cry when I read it. I remember what it was like to sit before the pill bottles wanting to end my life but fearful to do so at the same time. I really didn't want to die but I was too scared to live.

They say your life flashes before your eyes when you're about to die and mine did too that night. I remembered the pain and what I lost and all that I will never be again. But then I remembered too the day my baby girl was born, seeing her for the first time, I fell in love instantaneously. 

I remembered too my parents and my friends, and all the memories we've made, remembering how important they are to me. I remembered. And in doing so, I remembered I liked to breathe.

I share this with you because maybe you need to be reminded today too. Hitting rock bottom doesn't mean that your life is over! It means you have the chance to start again. Hitting bottom is the perfect place to decide no more and to start making your life the life you need for you. Are you at the bottom yet? How long have you been there? Is today the day you remember how much you like to breathe? 

Have you ever "tied" one on one night and then woke up feeling like you've been hit by a MAC Truck? Feeling like your head is about to explode, your body aches, and you feel like your brain is a million miles away in someone else's head because you just can't seem to think straight? I have too and it hurts worse than this sometimes doesn't it? Yeah it does....

You've probably already experienced a hangover whether it be from too much wine with the girls, or beer with the boys during a hockey game...what did that feel like? Now let me ask you..have you ever felt like that without having had a drink? Have you ever felt like that after taking a prescribed medication?

The "drug hangover' is real for many of us. Medication can affect us differently and until our bodies get used to it, some medications can cause a "hangover" like effect. Have you noticed this in your life too? What did it feel like for you? What did you do about it? 

Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.

~~Mahatma Gandhi~~




Picture taken on the East Coast by a friend during holidays to Nova Scotia

Well here it is...the last long weekend of the summer. Did you blink? Did you miss summer? If you live where I do, you may have noticed it wasn't much of a summer. The weather has been cooler than normal and some find that just fine. But me? NAH!! I like the heat after such a cold and bitter winter and I for one was hoping for a warmer summer...here's to hoping for an long Indian Summer ;)

So...it's the last long weekend of the summer....what are you doing? Do you have plans for the weekend? A last family fling? An end of summer BBQ perhaps? Whatever your plans...have you prepared yourself for your pain? Good! Keep doing that and keep your plans.

I hope that by visiting the site you are learning how to live with your pain instead of your pain living with you. What have learned about your pain? What soothes it so that you can still be active in your life, living your life for you and not for the limitations of your pain.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend and are busy doing things that make you smile and enjoy life. Pain may be a part of our lives now...BUT it's only a part...there is so much more to your life and to you, than your pain.

Have a great weekend and please do something that makes you smile and enjoy being you. Life is too damn short not to don't you think? Even the silly things...and the things that scare you a little...do those too!

take good care of you
Tammy

I did say I have a sarcastic sense of humour and today this fits in well.

I've fallen, I've stumbled and there have been times when I couldn't get up.

And then there are the days when I've walked into the walls too.

But I am learning to fly...okay so maybe it's on a broomstick ;) but I'm flying!

A secret to happiness is letting every situation be what it is instead of what you think it should be, and then making the best of it.

~~Unknown~~




Picture taken in Collingwood, ON

Sorry I may blunt with this one but I'll try to lighten my words.

My daughter told me about a woman yesterday who also lives with chronic pain and has been trying to find ways to help herself manage her pain. One choice this lady ...let's call her Julie... chose to try were injections. Now this is something I've also chosen to try and do currently use as well, and I go to a pain clinic to receive them. There are also clinics within some hospitals here as well, where you can get injections and other treatments like infusions.

Well, see one day Julie went to the hospital to receive her injections and what has pissed me off so much with this is that the doctor at the hospital gave her a drug called Ketamine. Ketamine is common horse tranquilizer if you are unaware of what it is. Now some people are finding this to be of benefit and it may be.....BUT....when using a drug of this strength and type in humans, the effects need to be closely monitored....humans and horses are not the same! 

Upon receiving her injection, Julie was released from the room and was allowed to leave the hospital and take herself home. What bothers me is that Julie couldn't even walk. Couldn't see straight and had double blurred vision. Julie is a small and tiny woman and was given enough medication to lay out a horse!! and was then left to leave walking holding onto the walls for balance.

WTH?!?! WHY?? why do the doctors dope people up so badly they can't even walk nor see straight? How is this allowing or providing someone to have a functioning life? Where does the doctor's responsibility end when it comes to providing safe administration of medication, care and monitoring of patient well being after providing treatment?

The biggest questions I have is when will we as humans stop putting ourselves through hell in the hopes of being pain free? When will we stop being guinea pigs for big pharma to test drugs on? When will we stop killing ourselves slowly?