My sleep has been broken lately and I've been finding myself watching TV at all hours of the night and I've noticed a few things...

There's a helluva lot of commercials for medications...both prescribed and over the counter. 

In fact? I counted no less than 4 commercials in during one break. 4! Now mind you not every break had that many but every commercial break had at least two and no less than one medication advertised. There was even one commercial break when a medication advertisement was repeated twice in the same break. Considering how many commercials there are during an hour of television...that's a lot of advertising dollars being spent by big pharma.

And I noticed too that the commercials during the wee hours of the morning are different than those during the daytime. Have you ever noticed that? 

I also noticed that there was not one commercial break that did not contain a medication advertisment. Not one! 

This is the first time I've ever ranted here about my child....but today? I'm going to. 

Yesterday, my daughter and I took off to Grand Bend, ON to see the beach. (Yeah she's a waterbaby too.) My daughter had some high hopes for our day and was really looking forward to laying her butt in the sand and even going for a swim in the water...however...it was a red flag kind of day and the wind and waves had other plans. 

She was disappointed to say the least and she complained! a lot! And after listening to her patiently, (I hoped she would stop on her own but she didn't), I had to say...Just stop! will you please! And her response? Well, I'm just saying. Yeah...she had been "just saying"...the whole time we were there and I'd had enough. The level of negativity was exhausting! 

She didn't like it too much and said...well then I'll just shut up then. 

Passive-aggressive much? yeah! 

anyway....

I've had some busy days lately and I've been hurting because of it. Yesterday I had a conversation with someone that left me feeling a little "grumpy". It went a little something like this...

Friend: So how are you doing? 
Me: I'm hurting. I've had a busy few days.
Friend: Oh yeah? what did you get up to? 
Me: Over four days...I've gone grocery shopping twice carrying everything home, 5 loads of laundry (the cat got sick in my bed twice this week), did the dishes, tidied up around the house, I've been on the bus to the mall twice, went to the farmers market and walked to my parents. And I've been working on a few mirrors and other projects too. It felt good to be busy but now I'm hurting for it.
Friend: You think that's bad? Let me tell you about my week.....

No one has the right to tell you that their life is harder than yours. 

No one has the right to invalidate your struggles because they "got through it just fine."

No one has the right to tell you to suck it up because other people have it "worse."

Hardships are not comparable.

Your struggles are real, legitimate, and just as difficult as anyone else's.

~~Unknown~~

​
Now here's my take on that....

Throughout my journey, I've heard some pretty hurtful things and I'm sure you have too. Things that have made you question yourself, your worth, and many other things too. I would be willing to bet that you may have even told some of these things to yourself. Have you? Can you be honest? Have you ever said to yourself..."what am I complaining about when there are others who have it worse?" I've said it to myself...I'll be honest...I've said it to myself when I've seen someone I thought was "worse off" than me. I've compared myself. Have you? What else have you said to yourself? 

I've shared some information recently on medicinal marijuana and thanks to a message I've received...I'd like to clarify a few things...

It's not about getting high! and if that's what you're using your medication for...you're using it wrong.
If you're avoiding your life so you can stay at home and get high...you're using it wrong. If you are not more active in your life because of your choices...you're using it wrong. (just my opinion)

No matter what medication you're choosing to use...its use is supposed to help you be as active in your life as you can possibly be...right? Isn't that what you're taking it for? To help minimize your pain so you can be involved in your life? So is that what you're doing? Are you more active in your life because of your medication choices? 

I've heard so many times...you just want to get high. NO! it's not that at all. 

A while ago...I was having a conversation with someone in my life and I'm wondering if you've ever experienced something like it too. I wonder too if maybe this might be the reason behind some of the misconceptions and communication break downs surrounding "invisible illnesses". 

Now please keep in mind that I am making no judgments on this conversation but simply sharing it.

​In an attempt to explain what life is like for me...this is how it went...

Friend: I can't imagine what life is like feeling pain every day. I just can't. I can't picture it.
Me: Imagine the worst pain you've ever felt in your life. Now think of what it would be like to live with that each and every day of your life.
Friend: I can't. 
Me: Have you ever felt pain? Pain that limits your movements, your abilities, pain that makes you want to curl up into a ball and wish to be over? 
Friend: Yes, it was excruciating...but it went away.

Note: Usually when I go on a rant...it requires a language warning or some other kind of heads up to you. I will do my best this time to watch my language...however...my attitude will have free reign. You may find this entry triggering and I do apologize and please know that that is not my intent. Read with caution just in case. 

Now onto the RANT....

I've been saying for a long time now that words have power. Words have the power to leave bruises that cannot be seen but last a very long time. Words have the power to lift us up or to tear us apart. Even the words we say to ourselves...has this power. Words can be used to communicate many things and even the words not said...can communicate as well.

But...do you know what else has this kind of power? Silence. Silence can be just as powerful as our words can be. Silence can also leave bruises we cannot see and silence can be either supportive or it can be hurtful and damaging. Yes...even silence...is a powerful communication tool. 

**mild language warning**

​When it comes to the many medications that are commonly prescribed for people like us...the word "potentially" gets tossed around a lot. Could "potentially" cause heart attack or stroke...could "potentially" cause intrusive thoughts and/or suicide....could "potentially" cause high blood pressure....could "potentially" cause mental confusion...could "potentially" cause muscle aches and/or spasms...could "potentially" cause...could "potentially" cause...and so on and so on. 

It's kind of like a prediction. They...being doctors, big pharma, research and medical groups and any of the like...have identified "potential" side-effects and they've broken them down into a three groups: common side-effects...infrequent side-effects...and rare side-effects...these are again broken down into whether the observed reaction to the side-effect is mild, moderate, severe or even life threatening. And from this information they can provide the appropriate warnings to what may "potentially" happen with the use of medications...both good and bad.

I think what bothers me most about the phrase "could potentially cause" is that they don't really know. Based on many lab tests, clinical trials and research groups etc...they have an idea what will or may happen...but they don't exactly know how each person will be impacted by a medication...that is until we take it. This why our doctors keep such careful notes about how we're doing when taking medications. Our doctors report their findings and it helps to build research data. 

**Mild Language Warning**

Can you remember who you were, before chronic illness changed your life?

SERIOUSLY?!?! are you flecking kidding me? What an insensitive question! Of course I can remember! Some days it's hard as hell not to think of anything else. I'm reminded constantly I'm different now and my life and body will never be the same again. Do I remember? Damn right I do! Do I wish I could forget? Yeah some days I do.

Has someone ever asked you that question? I've been asked and it hurt! It hurt a lot! I've heard many other insensitive and hurtful comments over the years and it leaves me thinking that some people are just a special kind of stupid.

**minor language warning**

As you may have heard...Health Canada has requested the makers of Tylenol to lower the amount of acetaminophen in their products due to the damage caused to our liver and other organs. HUH! 

This was a topic I brought up on the Facebook page as well and there was some conversation about it. One friend of the page actually went and called her doctor to verify and to question further. This is what she was told...

"Yes it causes damage by eating a way at the lining of the liver, that can take away the ability to do it's job. The liver is a filter to pass toxins out of our bodies, so it's like a corrosive agents in it that act like acid to eat away the lining and can cause a little or a lot of damage and Yes one symptoms is jaundice."

This friend...as told by her doctor...also shared that it took a full 17 years for this information to come to light. By the time the government got involved and a study was completed...red tape was created and eventually cut...BLAH BLAH...the information has now come out...

What was once marketed as a safe drug...one most used by hospitals and doctors everywhere...is now deemed unsafe due to the damage caused to our liver and other organs.