Have the Sex Talk

Are you avoiding sex due to pain and related problems? Have a talk with your partner, doctor, or counselor. Chronic pain can have a big impact on your sex life -- and your partner's. Sometimes an expert's advice really helps.

Have the Sex Talk

It may take courage, but having a frank talk about how your pain affects sex can reassure your partner about your feelings. If you're hesitant, consider seeing a counselor -- alone or as a couple.

Talk to your partner about:

• Why you may seem to lack interest
  
• Positions that are more comfortable
  
• Time of day you have the most pain
  
• What might keep sex enjoyable and your relationship intimate

These pictures are of the frozen waves in Grand Bend, ON

I've always wanted to see the frozen peaks of the waves. Maybe one day I'll get to see them in person.

A friend of mine took these shots yesterday and shared them with me. 

Yes I have...

You may think there is a lot wrong with you, but there is also a lot right with you.

~~Joel Osteen~~







Picture taken by my daughter Emily

Pain Management: Maintaining Intimacy 

Chronic pain can lead to sexual problems. When you are in pain, the last thing you probably want to do is be intimate with your partner. But it is important to remain close to your loved one. A healthy, intimate relationship can positively affect all aspects of your life.

Many people living with pain often have fears about sexuality, including:

Fear of rejection by a partner: It is common for people with chronic pain to feel that a partner is no longer interested. You may wonder if a partner is less attracted to you because you are in pain. Share your feelings and fears with your partner and listen to your partner's concerns

So...I don't know about you...but it's been a long week. 
How has your week been? Do you need to make and take some time for you? 

Now that the weekend is loading...

• what will you do this weekend to soothe yourself...nurturing and caring for you physical... mental and emotional needs?
  
• what can you do to prepare for and manage your pain so that you can be as active as you are able? 
  
• what will you do to live beyond your pain?
  

I ask these questions every Friday and today is no different...and I ask them to get you thinking about how you are living with your pain. 

Pain may be a part of your life now...but you still have a life to live. Live to the best of your abilities each and every day. Find something that puts a smile on your face and a skip to your step and enjoy life. This is one of the greatest healing things we can do for ourselves.

Take good care of you and I hope you have a great weekend.
Tammy

DAMAGE CONTROL

A toast to all those who have been lost, forging after their dreams, before life stepped in, turned worlds upside down. Let’s allow a moment of silence, for so much unrealized potential. Waking up one day, only to discover, you never meant, to end up how you are. You are not the person, you planned to be all along. It all snuck away from you, flittered away in the wind, now lost in a forgotten pit somewhere. These are things to grieve. Is it wisdom or innocence, which is better of the two? “Silly whimsical dreams" are let go, for the life, which you have created, special in its own way, in reality’s way. People working to the bone, to get the things they have. Oh the things we are taught, growing up, chasing the American dream. There is so much collateral damage, never accounted for, wondering what might have been, is no use. Most likely sacrifices were made, due to necessity, responsibilities came along. Age is a sneaky little thing. Make amends with the past, cut it all loose. What was meant to be, brought you to this very point. So ashes to ashes, dust to dust. We only get one life. Repent for transgressions, then try to find your real self. I must warn you it’s a heart wrenching, nasty business, an arctic blast, which hits you full force. It humbles you, teaches you to count your blessings. It’s all you can do. Love, is all that matters in the end. The twinkle in your eyes, may be different, but there are still many smiles to be had. Sometimes there will be bittersweet tears. No life is not sunshine, roses, or a fairy tale. Its damage control, with joy weaved through it.

~~Michelle Lee Gagnon~~

No matter what happens, no matter how far you seem to be away from where you want to be, never stop believing  that you will somehow make it. Have an unrelenting belief that things will work out, that the long road has a purpose, that the things that you desire may not happen today, but they will happen. Continue to persist and persevere.

~~Brad Gast~~


Picture taken by J.M.

Do any on the list look familiar to you? I'll admit they look painfully familiar to me and parts of my life during my journey.

One of the hardest steps to living with and accepting a chronic illness...is our own personal thoughts and beliefs.

"Cognitive Distortions" is a common problem for many people even those without a chronic illness. It's a human thing really.

We're human and our thoughts aren't always healthy or helpful, and we can get distorted by our life's experiences, past and the opinions of others.

Often our own distorted thoughts are negative thoughts rehashed based on some one else's opinions and we take them on owning them...spinning them into our lives giving them more thought and credit than they deserve...distorted thinking.

Take a look at the examples. I mean really look at them. What thoughts do you hold that could be considered "distorted"?

If ever there were two posts that belong together in an entry these two are it! We often only see what we "lost" as a result of our illness and we fail to recognize, acknowledge and/or admit...to the mistakes we make as well. 

Take a good long look at the info-graphics and give some honest thought to your life and how you're living. When we make some of the "mistakes"...we will also experience the "inevitables" of our illness as well.