I've had some busy days lately and I've been hurting because of it. Yesterday I had a conversation with someone that left me feeling a little "grumpy". It went a little something like this...
Friend: So how are you doing?
Me: I'm hurting. I've had a busy few days.
Friend: Oh yeah? what did you get up to?
Me: Over four days...I've gone grocery shopping twice carrying everything home, 5 loads of laundry (the cat got sick in my bed twice this week), did the dishes, tidied up around the house, I've been on the bus to the mall twice, went to the farmers market and walked to my parents. And I've been working on a few mirrors and other projects too. It felt good to be busy but now I'm hurting for it.
Friend: You think that's bad? Let me tell you about my week.....
Friend: So how are you doing?
Me: I'm hurting. I've had a busy few days.
Friend: Oh yeah? what did you get up to?
Me: Over four days...I've gone grocery shopping twice carrying everything home, 5 loads of laundry (the cat got sick in my bed twice this week), did the dishes, tidied up around the house, I've been on the bus to the mall twice, went to the farmers market and walked to my parents. And I've been working on a few mirrors and other projects too. It felt good to be busy but now I'm hurting for it.
Friend: You think that's bad? Let me tell you about my week.....
Mini Rant....Hearing my friend say that my brain responded....Actually...no! I don't think that's bad...but you asked me what I had been up to...so I told you. I'm not whining...you asked! But okay...let's compare....
Friend: You got out of your house and did the things you wanted to do, so you shouldn't complain. I didn't get to have any fun this weekend and I have to work all next week. I need a break! I worked 40 hours at a messy stinky job...co-workers "piss me off all the time", teenager ate leftovers (how rude!...might have to kick her out), kid didn't do chores and left dishes on the floor in her room. Ex never showed up for the other kid so I couldn't go out with my friends. I need a break from my life and my kids. I'm sick of doing it all.
Mini Rant...Um...who's whining now? (no I didn't actually say that out loud but I wanted to! and I also wanted to say that I wasn't complaining...that I actually did enjoy my days and I know why I'm hurting more for it. I also wanted to say that I'm taking the time to do what I needed so I could feel better. I wanted to say I wasn't complaining!! you asked me! but all I said was...
Me: yeah I can see how that would bother you. We all need some time away.
(and then she lost it... and it was pretty much end of the conversation)
Now here's my RANT....
Yes! life is hard! damn hard some days...but how we each experience life is DIFFERENT! It's incomparable! it's like apples and oranges. My experiences are mine and yours are yours. But to compare? It's not fair!
and it's not right to minimize someone else's experiences to make your own seem "more". It devalues people as a whole and their lives as well.
What leaves me confused after some conversations is...when did it become a competition? Why can we not just learn to support, listen to and comfort each other? When did it become "all about me"?
And you know what else? it makes me appreciate my alone time all the more. Sad to say but true.
It's not a competition...it's not comparable...
After note:
I wrote this a little while ago and debated whether to share it or not, but after yet another "you think that's bad" conversation...I'm sick of hearing it...so now I'm sharing the RANT.
Mini Rant:
PLEASE: stop comparing your life to everyone else around you. Your life is yours! Mine is mine and theirs is theirs. If you have all this spare time to be complaining about your "shitty life"...go do something about it! Stop complaining and making yourself the victim. The world is not trying to screw you over! But you... are screwing yourself with your negativity. If you don't like what's going on in your life...change it! Do something about it! But don't you dare put me down.
Friend: You got out of your house and did the things you wanted to do, so you shouldn't complain. I didn't get to have any fun this weekend and I have to work all next week. I need a break! I worked 40 hours at a messy stinky job...co-workers "piss me off all the time", teenager ate leftovers (how rude!...might have to kick her out), kid didn't do chores and left dishes on the floor in her room. Ex never showed up for the other kid so I couldn't go out with my friends. I need a break from my life and my kids. I'm sick of doing it all.
Mini Rant...Um...who's whining now? (no I didn't actually say that out loud but I wanted to! and I also wanted to say that I wasn't complaining...that I actually did enjoy my days and I know why I'm hurting more for it. I also wanted to say that I'm taking the time to do what I needed so I could feel better. I wanted to say I wasn't complaining!! you asked me! but all I said was...
Me: yeah I can see how that would bother you. We all need some time away.
(and then she lost it... and it was pretty much end of the conversation)
Now here's my RANT....
Yes! life is hard! damn hard some days...but how we each experience life is DIFFERENT! It's incomparable! it's like apples and oranges. My experiences are mine and yours are yours. But to compare? It's not fair!
and it's not right to minimize someone else's experiences to make your own seem "more". It devalues people as a whole and their lives as well.
What leaves me confused after some conversations is...when did it become a competition? Why can we not just learn to support, listen to and comfort each other? When did it become "all about me"?
And you know what else? it makes me appreciate my alone time all the more. Sad to say but true.
It's not a competition...it's not comparable...
After note:
I wrote this a little while ago and debated whether to share it or not, but after yet another "you think that's bad" conversation...I'm sick of hearing it...so now I'm sharing the RANT.
Mini Rant:
PLEASE: stop comparing your life to everyone else around you. Your life is yours! Mine is mine and theirs is theirs. If you have all this spare time to be complaining about your "shitty life"...go do something about it! Stop complaining and making yourself the victim. The world is not trying to screw you over! But you... are screwing yourself with your negativity. If you don't like what's going on in your life...change it! Do something about it! But don't you dare put me down.
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