HA! Yeah...or she's shaking her head...it's one or the other
Do you live with chronic fatigue? How does it impact your body and your ability to live your life? or does it? For many, this list is all too familiar...but unless you live with this too...you may not understand. It's hard to imagine and even to comprehend what a life with this would be like. Chronic fatigue is a fatigue that goes beyond simply being tired. Sleep is supposed to be restorative and restful...and we're supposed to wake up feeling refreshed and invigorated...but with chronic fatigue? that rarely ever happens. We may often joke about how bad our memory is getting but really? it can be scary at times. To walk into a room and not remember why. To not be able to remember even the simple things like words, or dates, or even what's something is called or how to spell a word. What did you say earlier? What's your name again? We had plans today? I forgot. With chronic fatigue, our bodies are often just so tired that every part of us hurts...we're worn out...feeling like we've been hit by a MAC truck. Muscles ache, heads hurt...our bodies are beyond hurting...and the one thing we need to help...we can't seem to get...Sleep! or at least the restful and restorative kind. Unless someone is trying to help you, don't you dare, ever let anyone tell you who and what you are, because, on this planet, you are the unquestionable and supreme authority on — you. ~~Bryant McGill~~ Picture taken by my daughter Emily I've lied...have you? I've said I'm fine when I'm really not...times when I've needed help. I've said I'm tired when really? I just can't take it anymore. I've said I've already eaten when actually I hadn't eaten in days. I've pushed people away wanting them to fight me and stay. I've worn sweaters to hide my scars and I've promised I'm better and that I'm okay when I just want to go away. I've lied...have you? Why did you lie? How can we get the help we need, the understanding we crave...when we lie? You know it's a lie but you say it anyway...why? When I was first hurt, I didn't handle things well. I was angry! really angry! and I pushed people away. I hurt those I love with my words and my actions too. I didn't handle it well. It took me some time to deal with these feelings and to understand them too...and one thing I learned was that I owed some people an apology.
Yesterday I got to see a friend I haven't seen in a long time. This woman has been a part of my life for over twenty years now (since our college days) and no matter what I did, she never left..though we didn't see each other like we used to after I got hurt, (and that was my fault) but yesterday...I got to apologize. I realized during my healing that not only was I angry about my pain, I was jealous too. She could do what I couldn't anymore. She had the job I used to do, she was a reminder of who I wasn't anymore and would never be again...I couldn't handle that so I pushed her away. But seeing her yesterday was the balm I have been needing. You don't realize how much you miss someone till you see them again and I was reminded yesterday in a big way. I was reminded how important she had been in my life...how much I had missed her...I remembered and it felt good. Do not wallow in your mistakes. Do not grovel and prostrate yourself in hopes of forgiveness. We all make mistakes. Apologize and move forward. Do not replay the event in your head. Do not continue to beat yourself up. Do not profusely explain, defend yourself, make excuses or blame. After you apologize, do no more explaining; never explain more than once — ever. When you keep explaining and rehashing you just keep your mistake alive. Learn your lesson and adjust your behavior and move forward. Let people see you overcoming your mistakes with integrity. Most mistakes that seem huge in the heat of the moment are quickly forgotten. We often even further bond with others through surviving our mistakes together. Big mistakes are an outstanding opportunity to showcase your ability to recover and have grace under pressure. The bigger the mistake, the bigger the opportunity. This is how you turn it all around. ~~Bryant McGill~~ Picture taken by my daughter Emily on the pond. When I saw this I stopped and I had to admit to myself...I've been hard on me lately. I've said things to me that weren't helpful nor were they nice. I had forgotten. Do you need this reminder? Have you forgotten too? Sometimes we forget and we can only remember the grief, the heartache, and the suffering...it's all we can remember...and we forget. But you know what? Everything we've been through has softened us in some ways, wisened us in others and there are even those moments that have strengthened us...did you forget? Did you forget that in-spite of everything, you still grew? I did too. But we do have something to be proud of! YES! we do! No matter what life brought, we turned grief into softness, heartache into wisdom, and suffering into strength. And that is something to be proud of. So sit back, take a moment and remember your strengths, remember the lessons learned, remember how you grew. YOU are someone to be proud of! Marvel at that for a change and remember who you really are! remember your strengths, remember your courage...remember YOU! and be proud. stop being so hard on yourself and take good care of you...please? Identifying reasons surrounding why a particular problem has arisen should only play a specific part in identifying a solution. Establishing why something occurred can be connected to ensuring it doesn't happen again but we can't focus too much on the problem lest we don't give the solution enough attention. That's a balance that appears to be needed in an area of your world now. What has happened, has happened. What needs to happen is where focus should be given. ~~Unknown~~ Picture taken while away on my break I've shared some information recently on medicinal marijuana and thanks to a message I've received...I'd like to clarify a few things...
It's not about getting high! and if that's what you're using your medication for...you're using it wrong. If you're avoiding your life so you can stay at home and get high...you're using it wrong. If you are not more active in your life because of your choices...you're using it wrong. (just my opinion) No matter what medication you're choosing to use...its use is supposed to help you be as active in your life as you can possibly be...right? Isn't that what you're taking it for? To help minimize your pain so you can be involved in your life? So is that what you're doing? Are you more active in your life because of your medication choices? I've heard so many times...you just want to get high. NO! it's not that at all. |
Tammy...is living life with chronic pain...doing the best I can with everyday. Categories
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