Breaking down....

**Mild Language Warning**

Now I'm not going to ask if you've felt this way because I already know you have. It was a damn scary place to be too wasn't it? Or maybe you're there now. Are you?

To feel like you're coming apart at the seams.
To not be able to sleep...nor concentrate...nor think straight.
To feel like you're breaking down and going crazy.

I've been here too and still visit occasionally...it's a human thing to be here I think...that's how I knew you'd been here...you're human too.

To have these feelings doesn't make you crazy...it makes you human. To be scared and not know what to do. To feel like you're drowning in your own tsunami....to be scared is to be human.

I'm not going to tell you not to feel this way either. These feelings are normal and natural to have. To spend time wondering, thinking...is normal...but we must be careful not to get lost in these thoughts...which is all too easy to do sometimes...and then we lose us and down the rabbit hole we go. You've been there haven't you? Me too.

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So how do we protect ourselves when we are feeling this way?...and we do need to protect ourselves too, because if we don't, these feelings and thoughts will see us down our rabbit holes quicker than we may realize or deeper than we can get out of on our own. And please know too that there is no shame to get lost here for a bit. But once you realize you're here...please know that you can get yourself back out...even if you call for help...you can get out of this.

So...how do we care for ourselves when we're feeling lost and thrown about by life and we're coming apart at the seams? here are a few ideas to get you started, but please do take the time to write your own list and keep it handy for the days you need to dig yourself out....

• realize you're human and you will make mistakes...forgive yourself when you do but never forget the lessons you learned...life isn't perfect but it is worthwhile...you're not perfect either but you are perfectly you
  
• talk kindly and with love to yourself...beating yourself up for what you see as the "failures" of your life is not helpful and will only drag you further down into the pit...words hurt and leave bruises we cannot see but last a long time...even the words we say to ourselves so talk kindly and with love to yourself
  
• surround yourself with the things and people in your life that can make you smile...even when you don't want to and let them bring you up...SMILE :) you're living your life's story
  
• throw yourself a rocking F&%K the World party!!! have a good cry...eat your favourite snacks...feel your feelings...then pick yourself back up and go at it again
  
• soothe yourself...soothe your emotional needs...your mental needs and your physical needs...soothe yourself and know that you deserve this
• remember all the times in your life you felt invincible...the days you conquered things you never thought you would...remind yourself how strong you really are...because you are strong...you just don't feel that way right now
• get outside go for a walk...feed the squirrels and the ducks in the park...get your mind busy on something that makes you feel good and just allow yourself to experience those feelings...the feel good things in life...hobbies work good here too
• reach out to your family doctor and/or treatment team...if these thoughts and feelings become pervasive within your life you may need outside help to beat this...do not be ashamed of this either okay? they will know what help is available and you may even need a referral so please...talk with your doctor
• do not increase or change your medications without consulting with your doctor or pharmacist...some people use "self-medicating" strategies to get themselves through this and could end up causing more problems in the long run....please talk to someone before you medicate your pain...your life may depend on it
• have patience with yourself during this time...this will pass but you have to hold on until it does

Please...feeling this way is natural sometimes in life...but we must do everything we can for ourselves when we're feeling this way...bit by bit we must drag ourselves up out of the pit. And I'm not going to lie to you and say this won't happen again...it might...but...now you know what to do for you to make it a shorter trip.

take good care of yourself please and dig yourself out...you can do this...you are strong enough!