GO AWAY...

Have you ever had one of those days where you just know it's going to be a "does not play well with others" kinda day?

I have and I will admit I haven't always behaved my best either. 

When you're feeling that way what do you do? How do you manage it?

Do you warn those around you that you're having a bad day and that your limits are shortened? Do you use your pain as an excuse to rip into those around you? or even yourself?

What do you do? 

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To use your pain as the excuse for cleaning the bones off someone is not fair to those around you. Yes you may be feeling more pain and yes your abilities to cope and manage it may have gone out the window, but that doesn't mean that your behaviour should go out the window too. 

Your pain may be why you're feeling this way but your pain is not the reason for your behaviour. Do you know what is? Your inability to cope is behind the behaviour...isn't it? You feel overwhelmed...you're hurting...you can't focus...and people keep making demands on you don't they? and the pain soars higher...your ability to cope goes lower...and you snap. Be honest now...it's happened hasn't it?

Don't feel bad...forgive yourself...but know too that this isn't right. Just because you're hurting, just because you can't cope right now and you're feeling overwhelmed...it does not give you the right to clean someone's bones. It just doesn't. It's not their fault that your pain is high. 

It's your responsibility to manage your behaviour and your emotions when your pain is trying to over take you and there are things you can do when your pain has your voice...

• take yourself out of the situation until you have better control over your pain and/or emotions
• when you're feeling overwhelmed..focus on your breathing...calming yourself down...deep breaths in...slow breaths out
• meditate or use visualization to relax you...soothe yourself...soothe your pain...soothe your emotions
• use your coping skills!!
• COMMUNICATE!!! use your words...nicely!!...what do you need right now from those around you? what are you feeling? how are you feeling? USE YOUR WORDS...NICELY! ask for help if you need it but ask nicely! and if you can't? don't speak at all until you can...remember words hurt!...even the words you say to you so talk nicely!
• apologize...for your words, for your actions...apologize and take responsibility...acknowledge that you lost control 

Have a plan for when this happens again because you know it will...your pain will take your voice again... so plan for it the next time so that your loved ones' bones stay intact.

Pain is now a part of your life but it is not a free ticket to behave poorly when you can't manage.

Take good care of you eh?