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I'm Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired RANT....find the solution?

6/9/2015

1 Comment

 
**language and attitude warning** read with caution

The other day I was reading an article on-line about the medicinal properties for cannabis in treating various illnesses...I found it quite informative actually. At the end of the article were comments from other readers and one of them went something like this...

"no, no, no, I say that because it's only helping to mask the symptoms of your pain...it is not the solution...you need to find the solution"

After reading the comment...my first response was to say..."you nit wit" and I shook my head...(actually I swore but I won't repeat that part here). To say to someone who lives with a chronic illness such as pain to not use a viable treatment option to manage their pain but to find the solution to their pain...is like telling someone who is diabetic not to take their insulin but to find the solution to their diabetes. It's just a special kind of DUMB!
The pure and raw thoughtlessness and comments of some people continue to amaze me. You would think after all this time I'd be better at not letting this piss me off...and some days I am good at it...but there are still days when it just burns my butt...and this comment did it.

FIND THE SOLUTION? Yeah! OKAY! and just how do you suggest I do that? I know the reasons for my pain...I know what helps and what doesn't...and I am open to trying new things as I learn of them...but find the solution to my pain? WELL...in my opinion...and really...it's the only one that matters in my life...doing what I'm doing...learning to live my life the best way I can...IS the solution to my pained and hurting life... and if using medicinal cannabis helps?...SO BE IT! 

I can't change my pain...damned if I would now anyway (I've grown too much because of it)...but the solution to my pain...IS ME! It always has been and it always will be. What I do or don't do will determine how I live my life...or don't live it...the SOLUTION to my life...to my pain...is ME.

End of RANT...for now.
1 Comment
Michelle Balm
7/9/2015 10:30:17 am

I am at a loss for words... because you've said it all !!! I've felt this way every single day for the last umpteen years of chronic debilitating pain, over ten years of which were using the ONLY pain medication that allowed me to live a functioning life, yet being subjected to humiliation for using it. No, my single "drug of benefit" was not medicinal cannabis (although I fully support it's medicinal use for those it helps), but rather it was a very specific opioid/narcotic of which I used the same specific dose for all those years, never increasing. The humiliation I suffered was from every medical professional I encountered EXCEPT my primary care medical doctor who prescribed this medication to me and my psychiatrist (for depression and anxiety from chronic pain and C-PTSD) who fully supported the use of this specific narcotic for several reasons beyond just it's pain management qualities in my specific case. A year ago, and a few short months before the DEA's abuse of power and war on drugs extended itself into the medical profession and declared these specific opiods/narcotics to be unsafe for any use whatsoever , the only doctors that had put my quality of life and welfare as a human being before falsely generated public propaganda , suddenly "retired". A month later I learned of the new laws imposed on patients and physicians alike regarding the rescheduling of all narcotics, when I went to refil my usual monthly prescription (refills still remaining on the original prescription) and was told by the same pharmacist that has refilled my medications all throughout those years, that he could not fill my prescription per a law change that had just gone into effect two days prior. Additionally, that this new law also immediately negated any refills remaining for any and every prescription written with refills for any and every patient in the country. While I was still standing at the pharmacy counter with my prescription bottle containing my last two pills (one day's dosage) of a drug that was "NOT to be stopped suddenly", trying to comprehend the full scope of what was occurring and how I was going to get my prescription refilled before my last pill the next day, I vaguely remember the pharmacist continuing his explanation of the new law... that each and every prescription now had to be a handwritten script signed by my regular doctor and picked up at the doctor's office by me personally, then brought in to the pharmacy, by me, for each and every months supply.... and... only 90 days worth of medication (3 one-month handwritten prescriptions) could be prescribed and filled in this manner. After 90 days of medication had been dispensed, another FULL DIAGNOSTIC exam would be required for the patient, to be performed by the same physician, before being allowed another 90 days of medication. I never fully knew what had just hit me til after I had left the one pharmacy in our small rural town, drove the six country miles to my old fixer-upper rural acreage/farm where I live alone and manage everything on my own, reached for the phone to call my doctor, and remembered that I no longer have a doctor since he had suddenly retired that previous month, without notice, and I hadn't been able to even inquire for a recommendation... and a referral... to even be scheduled for an initial appointment... with any other doctor yet... that might even be open to accepting "new" patients. I stood staring at the phone and then looking at the bottle in my hand with two pills left and tried to wrap my mind around the rest of what the pharmacist had told me.... a full diagnostic exam? ....by the original diagnostic and prescribing physician? Then trying to figure how much medication I have left as I'm struggling to count to two and remembering what withdrawals felt like when I accidentally missed my refil once... for two days over a weekend... on top of ... what I felt like throughout the three years of trying EVERYTHING ELSE before my doctors and I were finally able and willing to fall back to the last resort and find the exact right medication and combinations that finally "eased" the chronic pain to a "manageable" level. So please, Let me share the butt burning! for now I get to be labeled as lazy and "milking the system" after losing my near minimum wage job because I couldn't work through the pain without the medication that I was never allowed again... and given no "substitute" or alternate therapy except to be told by my "new" doctor to switch to the extra arthritis strength tylenol rather than the regular extra strength tylenol. Yes, let the "judgements" and "advice" keep coming about my personal pain too... I'll bring the extra matches.

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    Tammy...

    is living life with chronic pain...doing the best I can with everyday. 

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