Now let me ask you...do you know why you weren't successful with these changes? If you're like most people who start a "new years resolution" soon into the new year...you go back to your old ways. Am I right? Has it happened in your life too? Don't beat yourself up okay? It happens and we set ourselves up for it almost every time...and that is where this rant comes from...the personal set up.
Setting ourselves for failure is easy as you may have already experienced, and when we do this we are the first ones to beat ourselves up for it too. Do you beat you up for "failing" or for not being able to stick with your new year's resolutions? Do you promise yourself you'll try better the next time?
Why did you struggle to keep a new year's resolution? Do you know why or do you just blame yourself for not being strong enough? If you're beating yourself up...stop! Because I'm here to tell you that if you didn't plan for your resolution or life-style change...you were likely to fail anyway. It's not your fault...you just need to plan better next time.
All successful changes start with a good plan. A plan for what you want to change...how you will change it, what you will do instead of the "thing being changed", how you will handle the setbacks and the days you want to quit and even how you will reward your efforts...you need a plan Stan.
Most resolutions fail because you bit off more than you could chew right? yeah it happens...but that still doesn't mean you can't be successful. You just need to re-evaluate your steps and change some. Make smaller changes instead of giant leaps keeping in mind that every little change you make...leads to you to the big change you want to make...little stepping stones if you will.
Now picture this if you can...a small stream...there are large stones in the stream...some close together and some father apart...now in between these large stones are smaller stones and smaller rocks...the big stones are the changes you want to make in your life and as you jump from stone to stone you fall...you couldn't jump the space in between where you were and where you wanted to be.
But what about if instead of jumping from stone to stone...you moved from the pebbles to the stones to bigger rocks and then to the even bigger stones...each jump you make getting you closer to your goal stone? Does that make sense to you? You can either take little steps to get you there dry or you can take big giant leaps and fall in the water and get wet.
Change takes time and it takes many steps to make a change. You are changing life behaviours that took a long time to learn and you've had lots of practice using them too...so any changes you make will need lots of practice too...remember that okay?
Some people give in and give up when things don't go as they planned. Don't do that either okay?! Re-evaluate your goals and the steps you're taking to reach them. Consider too what you need and who you need around you to help you be successful and reach out for the help.
And please...be gentle with yourself okay? It does take time...and there will be days when you want to quit...don't! Remember the reasons you wanted to make this change...remind yourself why...remind yourself you're strong enough and you will do this. You can make any change you want in your life if you plan for it.
Falling down is a part of life...but so is getting back up...and you don't have to wait for a "New Year" to make the changes in your life that you want for you. They can be done at anytime of the year...you just need to make the choice to choose you.
I wish you all the best in your efforts as you make the changes you want for you this year...you are strong enough...you are good enough...and you are worth the effort too.
take good care of you