Loneliness....self imposed?

Did you ever think that loneliness is just self imposed? A friend of mine asked me that question this week and I'll admit, when he first asked me, I took a bit of offence to it. I wondered if he was trying to tell me something. Then I started thinking. (sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes it's not)

I asked myself was I feeling lonely? the answer was yes.
I asked myself was it my own fault? was I isolating myself? the answer was yes and it was no.
I asked myself why? why do I isolate myself sometimes...the answers were many. 

Do you ever feel lonely? Do you isolate yourself? If you're saying yes...why do you? 

When I was honest with myself...I knew my answers and I knew why. Do you? It's not always easy to be honest with ourselves...but when we are...we may find the reasons are difficulties with trust, our pain, a lack of self-confidence and self-worth, a beaten self-esteem, fear, financial reasons, feeling overwhelmed, depressed/anxiety...the list can go on and it's a personal one for each of us. 

Sometimes I think too that we isolate ourselves because we just need to hide...from the world around us and the people in it. It can be the time we need to lick our wounds before we can gather our strengths again....sometimes when we hide it can be a healing thing...sometimes...and sometimes it's not.

Sometimes self isolation only makes the lonely feelings stronger. Ever notice that? I do. It's like those feelings are confirmed somehow and it reinforces the negative thoughts that started you hiding in the first place...thinking you're better off alone or that no one wants you around cause if they did they would call or come over...or that you're a burden or a bother....the negative thoughts here can be many. Ever have any of those thoughts? yeah you're not alone.

I think too much some days and this topic got me thinking. 

So...is loneliness self-imposed? I'm not sure. Sometimes I think it is and sometimes I think it's the result of trying and finding disappointment. And sometimes I think it comes down to just deciding you're better off alone. I think there are many things that can leave us feeling lonely and many other things still that can make us isolate ourselves. 

If you're feeling lonely...ask yourself some important questions and if you want to change this moving forward...what can you do about it? reach out to someone...don't wait for them to call...pick up the phone...go visit a friend...get out of the house (just a few ideas).

We do need our alone time but we need each other too. 
​Please take good care of yourself.