***WARNING***EMOTIONAL LANGUAGE***
When I first read this I instinctively looked at my hands, to the scars that cover them both, then to the scars on my arms, and I remembered. I remembered the days I battled my thoughts and my body and I remembered too the days I took the pain I felt out on myself, ripping and tearing at my skin...watching the blood come...falling further as I hurt myself.
Although my sores have healed, my scars remain to remind me of where I've been. I used to hide my scars hoping no one would notice, hoping no one would ask. But people did notice and they did ask...."What are these scars from?"
What do you say when someone notices your scars? Do you quickly try to hide them making up stories for how you got them? I did too. I became the clumsiest cook in the kitchen always "burning" myself. It amazes me now how quickly I could come up with a reasonable, believable excuse and lie, but I could never admit the truth to why.
When I first read this I instinctively looked at my hands, to the scars that cover them both, then to the scars on my arms, and I remembered. I remembered the days I battled my thoughts and my body and I remembered too the days I took the pain I felt out on myself, ripping and tearing at my skin...watching the blood come...falling further as I hurt myself.
Although my sores have healed, my scars remain to remind me of where I've been. I used to hide my scars hoping no one would notice, hoping no one would ask. But people did notice and they did ask...."What are these scars from?"
What do you say when someone notices your scars? Do you quickly try to hide them making up stories for how you got them? I did too. I became the clumsiest cook in the kitchen always "burning" myself. It amazes me now how quickly I could come up with a reasonable, believable excuse and lie, but I could never admit the truth to why.
If I am to be honest, I worried about what others would think if they knew why...why I was doing what I was doing to hurt myself. I thought if they only knew I would be locked up and not let out. If they only knew the peace I felt when I was hurting myself, battling my thoughts, they would think me "crazy". My scars are my battle wounds and the battle I won was with myself.
We all have them...scars...some are visible for others to see and there are the scars that are so deep within us they're all but invisible...yet still felt. What has caused our scars will be different too. You may have scars caused by others in your life from their thoughtless words and actions...you may also have scars caused by yourself, by your own actions, in your own battle. You have them don't you?
When we cause harm to ourselves when we're battling our thoughts and our emotions, we are causing scars...physical and emotional. We seek out whatever will bring us peace..even if it comes at the cost of harm to our-self. Does this sound familiar in your life too? Do you seek out whatever will provide a level of peace from your life? Is what you're seeking causing scars in your life too? Only you know the answer.
Our scars are our battle wounds and the battle we have fought is for our-self against our-self. Please find the ways to soothe your pain without leaving scars behind. Please?
take good care of you and always be gentle! you're worth more than you know, better than you believe and stronger than you imagine
Tammy
We all have them...scars...some are visible for others to see and there are the scars that are so deep within us they're all but invisible...yet still felt. What has caused our scars will be different too. You may have scars caused by others in your life from their thoughtless words and actions...you may also have scars caused by yourself, by your own actions, in your own battle. You have them don't you?
When we cause harm to ourselves when we're battling our thoughts and our emotions, we are causing scars...physical and emotional. We seek out whatever will bring us peace..even if it comes at the cost of harm to our-self. Does this sound familiar in your life too? Do you seek out whatever will provide a level of peace from your life? Is what you're seeking causing scars in your life too? Only you know the answer.
Our scars are our battle wounds and the battle we have fought is for our-self against our-self. Please find the ways to soothe your pain without leaving scars behind. Please?
take good care of you and always be gentle! you're worth more than you know, better than you believe and stronger than you imagine
Tammy
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