The way you engage pain....

How do you engage your pain? Do your actions enforce it or release it? 

What about those around you? Do their actions enforce your pain or help you to release it? What about your actions to others? 

Some very important questions and I hope you'll give them some thought, because how we engage our pain or the pain of others...will either enforce it or                                                                                                                         help to release it.

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To enforce or to release...there is a big difference. Even with our own actions...we can struggle with this. 

SO...how do you enforce pain? (just a few examples...sadly there are many ways we can do this to ourselves and to others too)

• by ignoring your own needs and beating yourself up for feeling the way you do...using words that are hurtful...hurting yourself physically 
• telling someone it's all in their heads...to get over it...to shake it off
• belittling someone's efforts to improve themselves...and this one goes for us too when we try to make changes in our own lives
• putting yourself and others down for their mistakes, missteps, and perceived "faults"
• adopting negative and harmful coping skills 

How does the above enforce pain? well...it keeps the person hearing it hurting, it keeps them down, it keeps them questioning themselves, their worth and more. 

(and sadly we can do this to ourselves with our own thoughts, actions and behaviours too...it can keep us hurting ourselves)

So...how do you release pain? (just a few examples...but happily...there are many more ways we can do this for ourselves and others too)

• finding and using the things that help soothe your thoughts, your body, and your pain without harming yourself or others (positive coping skills...goals...dreams...memories...wishes and hopes too)
• sitting silently in support with a friend who is hurting just letting them know you're there
• talking with love, support and care to ourselves and each other
• offering our help and accepting it from others too...we all need a little help some days 
• being mindful of our own thoughts and the words we use when talking to ourselves and others

How does the above help to release pain? well...it allows the person to do what they need for them, to soothe and nurture their minds and bodies without judgement or fear. It allows us to talk to those in our lives and to ask for help when we need it. 

The way you engage someone's pain either enforces their pain or helps to release it...which will you choose moving forward? 

take good care of you and each other please...
Tammy